El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Chinga tu Madre Marion Barry

Gracias Marion Barry. Muchas Gracias. I see you’re trying to once again bring this city down into the gutter of your crack-pipe dreams. Yo se that you’re upset about Logan Circle not having any hookers for you, but come on, please do something about us keeping baseball in DC.

Baseball for Latinos is what Police Department is for the Irish. Baseball is what skews the immigration stats from Latin America. You have to keep baseball here because that’s the only way I’ll be able to get my sisters to marry someone with money and who here legally.

What? Anacostia turning into Georgetown scares you? White people are cool Marion. Sure, they tense up whenever someone of color gets by them, but that’s funny. They call you “Amigo” and automatically think your name is Jose. That’s funny. They think that my familia drinks margaritas and mojitos all day long. That’s ok. It doesn’t bother me. I like it.

Think about the money a better, nicer, richer DC will bring to us all. Money equals jobs homie. Don’t worry, your prostitutes will still be in DC. Just higher class ones.

Don’t fuck this one up for us you vagabundo! You’re acting like the MS-13 pussies. In my country, I think Marion is a woman's name.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 12:21 PM, Blogger Dudley said...

It's about time a sassy Spanglish blog came on the market, que bueno!

y tu mama,

At 12:45 PM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

You better believe it. I can't let all you white boys have all the fun on the Internet. I'm cansado of being a minority everywhere but the Goya section of the supermarket.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Aja said...

gwah gwha gwha gwah!!!

Goya. Why do non-latinos look at you in this section and be like, excuse me, but what is this? like you are automatically the spokesperson for Goya or all things latino in that aisle.


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