El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, April 17, 2007




“Si. Falcon.”

You want to name your first child Falcon?

“Si. Falcon.”

Like the bird?

“The greatest of all flying creatures.”

But why do you want to name your child, your human child, after a flying bird?

“Because Falcon is easily the manliest of all names possible. I have been giving this much thought and it was between Falcon and Jaguar.”

Oh, claro, Jaguar. That is a manly name. Why did you settle on Falcon?

“It wasn’t an easy decision, but anything that can fly is tougher than something that can just climb trees.”

Mosquitos can fly. Why don’t you name him Mosquito?

“El Guapo, this is why your first born will never be feared on the playground. Falcon, bueno, Falcon will be feared on the playground while your Mosquito cowers under his wings.”


“Si. Falcon.”

What about the T-Rex or another dinosaur.

“You’re an idiota. You can’t name your child after an extinct creature. There are rules to these things.”

Of course not. Why would I even think that…

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 2:12 AM, Blogger Gaz said...

Definitely too much acid in the sixties

At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Shaquanda said...

Sounds sexy!

At 11:43 AM, Blogger A Margarita said...

What about Leo? Sounds like lion, the king of the jungle.

At 2:33 PM, Blogger Jo said...

Falcon. That's just wrong. Y que pasa cuando ponen falcon en el rincon?

At 6:43 PM, Anonymous angela said...

haha the name "Falcon" conjures up images of 1950s greaser dudes with slicked back hair and hot-rods and leather jackets with..well, falcons on the back.

or maybe i'm just weird.

At 9:50 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

You kill me EG.

At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude that bloglog thing is crashing firefox on Macs, you are going to lose I dunno 1-2 readers.

At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess falcon is better than maricon (sp) ;0)

Copming to you from Texas

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

What if his first child is a daughter? Would he call her Pussy or Beaver?

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Some Catchy Chic said...

Haha, Falcon reminds me of that movie "The Next Karate Kid." What about El Tigre?

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Helen Skor said...

My friend's husband is from a family that names all the children after birds. Jay, Robin, Raven, Drake, etc. They are thinking about carrying on the tradition when they have a kid. I'll have to mention Falcon . . . maybe they can be in the same pre-school class to share in the ass-kickings this kid is going to get.

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, no, a thousand times no. "Falcon" cannot be a kid's name. "Falcon" is like the name of a villain in a James Bond flick--too theatrical to be taken seriously. Trust me, name the kid "Mosquito". Young Skeeter will be the well-adjusted, happy kid while Falcon will be the troubled lad who spends a lot of time in the psychiatrist's office trying to cope with the fact that his loco father gave him a stupid name. And for the record, a big no to "Jaquar" as well unless he wants his son's nickname to be "Kitty".

At 9:27 PM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

Well, it may be better than "Hay Suess" or "An Hell"...the point is just as ridiculous with those names. Falcon seems "normal" then.........

At 8:13 PM, Blogger Crankster said...

I'd have to disagree--anything that can destroy a falcon is clearly stronger than a falcon. And thus cooler.

My daughter, Wing Rot, agrees.


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