El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Blaming the Mexican for the Sweater Vest?

Sweater Vests. Can someone explain this to me please? I do not understand.

It’s a piece of clothing that is meant to protect against the cold weather, but without the sleeves. It is like someone woke up one morning and said, “Man, it is cold outside, but not that cold. I do not want to commit to a full sweater because then my arms will be too warm.”

So then, there are people out there with long sleeved shirts and a sweater, which for some reason is usually a red or brownish tint.

Was there a sale on sweater vests that made them just too good to pass up? Is this happening anywhere else or is it just DC that has sweater-vest fever?

I will tell you this. You will never see a self-respecting Latino wearing a sweater vest. Nunca. Jámas. Do you know why? Because we commit. We commit to a theme. We don’t do the half sleeved world of fashion. If a Latina woman is wearing something tight, everything she is wearing is tight. We commit. If we are cold, you are more likely to see us wearing rabbit fur-lined everything (hat, gloves and socks). We commit.

Wait, I just thought of something. There is one Latino out there that I’m pretty sure has sweater vests: Alberto Gonzales.

For those of you who do not know, Alberto Gonzales is the attorney general of the United States. The very moment I heard of Mr. Gonzales being asked by President Bush to be the President, I thought, “Great, now he has a Mexican to blame for something.”

I knew, I really truly knew, that some were just going to be licking their lips for something else to go wrong in the Bush White House. Why? Because they were then, able, to finally, blame a Mexican.

“What the hell happened?”

“Hell, I don’t know. The Mexican did it!”

Why not? It’s so perfect. Blame the brown guy. Ave Maria…

I bet some wish that Gonzales was around before troops were sent into Iraq. “The Mexican told us there were weapons of mass destruction.” “It was the Mexican who said that, not me.” “Whoa, don’t point your finger this way, it was the Mexican.”

But what do I know about politics? Very little. I do know, however, when the game “blame the brown guy” is being played. The last to be picked in elementary school dodge ball Tom Tancredo must just be loving this. Tom Tancredo, he does commit, but he totally wears a sweater vest.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

13 Comments:

At 9:57 PM, Blogger E :) said...

It's funny because it's true... LOL!

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger Alexander said...

Tancredo, who represents the sixth District of Colorado and leader of the Congressional immigration Reform movement, congratulated Mexican President Felipe Calderon and offered his support in his push to improve his country's economic situation.

President Calderon in an {AP article}-- said that he would not be advocating immigration reform when he meets with President Bush, however, will discuss on what he intends to do to "keep Mexicans at home" and to "cure" Mexico's long tradition of the illegal immigration by focusing more on Mexico's economy and living standards.

President Calderon has presented a plan, which he calls "Platform Mexico" that will link 200 police stations initially and help federal, state and local police exchange information to build an intelligence database on drug gangs.

 
At 12:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alexander wears sweater vests

 
At 8:05 AM, Blogger P1P said...

In England they are called tank tops. I don't know why.

 
At 9:46 AM, Anonymous anna said...

When you wear a vest you commit - you commit to keeping your torso warm! I personally don't go for the sweater vest look, but you should definitely check out a fleece vest. Go on, broaden your sartorial horizons. It won't hurt a bit.

 
At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Melissa said...

Dude, they are way too busy blaming the white guy in the White House to want to blame the brown guy.

 
At 1:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this look like half-sleeve commitment to you?

http://gallery.lamusica.com/album533/Daddy_Yankee_Aug_27th_287

 
At 2:43 PM, Anonymous girl and dog said...

My people are embarrassed to think that this idiot Gonzales, with his "Uh...wasn't me" face, has Mexican roots. Seriously, I think he picked up the vest habit in the U.S.

It is NOT a mexican thing. I repeat: It is NOT a mexican thing.

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Andraste said...

This same lack of commitment applies to people who wear socks with sandals. If it's so cold you need socks, you must also need shoes. If it is too warm for shoes, and you must wear sandals - then why the socks? You must commit to exposing your feet to the elements, or not exposing the rest of us to bad fashion sense. There's no middle ground.

 
At 3:34 AM, Blogger Mujer Morena said...

I never understood the vest thing, either. So your arms are just supposed to remain cold? Just like the socks with sandals or the sweater with shorts, it is all incomprehensible.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

I hate to admit it, but lots of people in my home state of Wisconsin wear things such as sweater vests. People in Wisconsin will also go out wearing sandals, shorts and a sweatshirt.

 
At 1:34 PM, Anonymous mary.whitsell@virgin.net said...

I've never had one of those vests either. But then I've never had gloves missing their tips -- and I know some people who swear by them.

But I have known one Latino who did have one of those vests and practically lived in it. His name was Ernesto and he was irreproachably cool -- and nice, too. He grew garlic and attended San Francisco State University. At least half a dozen women I knew had a crush on him.

Maybe it had something to do with the breezy freshness of San Francisco but lack of snow and ice.

Or perhaps he is the exception to prove the rule?

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

OK, when you say sweater vests, I think of those ugly sleeveless preppy sweaters.

I do love down vests-your arms in about say 30 degree weather stay warm-since your torso is warm-keeps your arms free and less bulky to move around easy-and weighs WAY LESS that a full jacket.

Fleece vests are great too.

And, shorts, sweatshirt and sandals do the same thing-keep the toros warm and the other stuff stays ok.

That is all I have to say.

 

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