El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, August 07, 2007


I’ve been mulling something over for quite some time. Mulling. That is not something I do very often. I’m not even sure if I’m using it correctly, but I’ve been mulling. I mull it turns out. I'm not even sure if that's legal...

This blog has been one of the greatest things that I’ve ever decided to do. Miguel likes it because it has given him exposure that he didn’t have before. For me, it has been a place for me to write about my thoughts, feelings and daily observations. All done, from a Guatemalan perspective. Sorry, a mustached Guatemalan perspective. When most have to carry their thoughts in their mind and shoulders, I have had you all. This has truly been a gift.

My anonymity has been something that I have held near and dear. This has been good, because I have been able to write whatever I want without having someone attack me (verbally or physically). It’s also made it impossible for me to meet many of you. I never liked that.

I write this with tears in my eyes, but this is my last blog entry.

There are a million things that I want to write, but I can’t. They say everyone is on a journey. I just need to find mine.

Thank you for all the comments, e-mails and pictures over the years. You all are amazing.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

PS: Always feel free to contact me directly at elguapodc@gmail.com

Monday, August 06, 2007

Glorious Day

Something glorious happened today.

You’ve probably heard about this Argentine running around DC talking trash about the good Guatemalan people. He’s a hater, but then again, he’s an Argentine, so that is to be expected.

The thing is, he’s Jewish, so he’s chosen. He’s part of the Chosen People. And to be honest with you, there was nothing that annoyed me more than his being an Argentine and Jewish at the same time. You see, I love the Jews. More specifically, I L-O-V-E the Jewish women. Love them. Everything about them.

Let me take a moment here…

Jewish women… Tan bueno.

Ok. I’m back. Anyway, for me, it was a love hate thing. I knew that his being an Argentine would make me want to stay away from him, but knew that his being Jewish would very likely give me the opportunity to meet some lovely members of the tribe. So I never knew what to do.

Until today. Today, I discovered that Argentina isn’t the only place in South America that has Jews. Today, I met a Brazilian Jew. Yes. There are Jews in Brazil. They wander. Even down there.

It turns out that my new Jewish friend had been reading my blog for some time. It also turns out that the Brazilian population in DC enjoys my frequent digs on Argentina. As a thanks, he gave me a gift:

I am told it is a kipa. This one, is made in Brazilian colors. You wear it on your head in reverence to G-d. I was also taught that. You can’t spell out God because it’s too powerful of a word.

Anyway, I’m not sure when I’m going to wear this little hat of mine, but whenever I find myself in any kind of Jewish situation, you better believe that this little guy is coming out and will be placed in reverence to G-d or wherever it needs to be to represent Brazilian Jews and to ensure that the Argentines, even the Jewish ones, are kept down.

A Guatemalan with a mustache wearing a Brazilian-themed kipa. I love this city!

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

Friday, August 03, 2007

Blog Interviewer

It's Friday. I'm about to go out. I had a dream with a red head last night, so I'm looking for her tonight.

This post is really about nothing other than I was just asked to answer a couple of questions at Blog Interviewer.

I also just found out that Guatemala is bigger than Iceland. Eat it Iceland!

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

Miguel finds a hole

“Witches? Witches and wizards?”


“So, they’re at a school to be witches and wizards.”


“The whole thing is about them being witches and wizards?”

Si. They go on adventures and beat out forces of evil. Evil witches and wizards.

“But they’re at school?”

Yes. Learning to be witches and wizards.

“How do they get to go to that school?”

I think you have to have powers. You demonstrate powers or have a parent with powers. I don’t know.

“What happens after they’re out of school?”

What do you mean?

“Bueno, if they’re at a special witches and wizard school, then that means that other kids are at regular schools. They’re off being witches and wizards and the regular kids are off getting ready for college to be doctors and lawyers. The doctors and lawyers are going to make money, but how do the witches and wizards make money?”

I think they teach.

“No. That doesn’t make sense. How can every single of the students teach? That’s like every single kid in college going to become a teacher. It can’t happen. So, these kids who have all these fancy powers, they have to make money right? That, or they steal it, but then they’re the evil forces and have all these good wizards and witches fighting them”

Maybe they end up reading palms at county fairs. Maybe they sell potions.

“Maybe you’re an idiota. And people buy these books?”

Yes, millions of them.

“Do they realize that there is an obvious hole and that it shouldn’t make any sense? That their schooling isn’t going to earn them a living? That their world is going to be full of unemployed kids with powers? It doesn’t make sense. How can people still read these things?”

Miguel, honestly, I have no idea. I just don’t think they’re as deep as you are.

"You're right El Guapo. The witches and wizards should have jobs. What message are they sending to the kids? All these powers and no job prospects? It's not right."

Bridges falling, wars starting, polar bears dying and here we have mi amigo worrying about plot holes in Harry Potter. Mi vida. Everyday. Amazing.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Reader submission

I really love the people who read this blog. En serio. We are a group of people scattered throughout the world who have a sense of humor all of our own. Someday, maybe, we will all get together and take over a country, maybe a small country, maybe Cape Verde. It seems nice there. Bueno, until that day comes, I guess we’ll just have to congregate here.

This was sent to me moments ago by a reader:

El G,

I know that Picture Caption Friday (Viernes) is coming up and I had to share the following pictures with you:

The only thing that could have been more perfect is if they had popped collars. A group of friends scored some really amazing seats to the Nationals (baseball) game in DC and these guys were getting annoyed with our obnoxious screams. Every time we yelled, they would look around in disgust.

Please notice how the two guys (a couple as far as I’m concerned) are wearing identical shirts of a different color. Notice the no sock look. Notice the loving arm around the “buddy”.

There was so much pent up homosexual tension between those two that it was making our whole section cry.

Anyway, you can post this on the Internet if you want. Or, just laugh. I hope you get a kick out of it.

Keep writing.

DC un-Yuppie

Wow. Here I was ready to post some pictures from my most recent trip to New Orleans and you go and send me this.

Gracias. Really. Gracias. I really can’t add much to these fantastic pictures other than my caption is: The Douche Bag Date. I really do LOVE the word "douche." It is very cute that they had the same shirt on. I like it. In mi libro, there is nothing wrong with them, but the no sock thing, bueno, at least he wasn’t wearing Crocs.... I guess that isn't really a collar popper thing.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

PS: Por favor keep sending these pictures in. I love them. If you ever see something funny, take the picture and send it along. It usually makes my day.