El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The beginning

My neighbor got a new job and his cable got turned back on. It’s about time. I almost called Comcast to actually pay for cable. Then I realized that I’m a resident of DC and it’s my God given right to get free cable.

While I was watching TV a commercial came on showing that, wait for it, Disney was going to release Peter Pan on DVD. Now, normally, I could care less about the DVD I was going to be forced into buying for one of my little cousins, but Peter Pan, well, Peter Pan was special to me.

As I sat there watching the commercial, I remembered a moment in my life that I hadn’t thought of in a while. One of my first sexual thoughts was to the Peter Pan movie. Yes, to a cartoon. To Tinkerbell. Dios, I’m so glad I write anonymously…

You see, throughout the movie, Tinkerbell gets spanked in the ass for her fairy dust. I have no idea why that did something for me when I was but a kid, but the thought of people spanking the girl in the green mini-skirt did something to me. You know, the “No mama, I just don’t want to stand up right now. Si, my legs are asleep again.” type of thing.

After having this memory, my mind wandered to other moments in my young Guatemalan life that brought sex into my mind before I even knew what it was.


Yes, the musical. But it was a movie, so back off.

Anyway, I was a kid when mi madre took me to the theater. Early 80’s I believe. I remember the scenes with the girls, who at the time seemed so much older than me, dressed in rags.

I for some reason had visions of breaking into the orphanage and saving all of them and being their hero. I didn’t even have a mustache to hypnotize them with, but I imagined swinging from a rope through the windows and saving each and every one of them. From their rags. They would be with me, El Guapo, for ever.

Then there was She-Ra and that crazy little cat that always had to ruin everything; the girl in El Chavo that always wore that mini-skirt; that cat woman creature in Thundercats…

But Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell will always be my first. The one that made me realize that I will forever live a life where I chase women.

If only they all wore those little mini-skirts and had magic dust come out when I slapped their bottom. If only…

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 12:49 AM, Blogger Namaste said...


At 5:59 AM, Anonymous Emily said...

Dios mio, El Guapo, siempre me hagas sentirme alegre. Gracias, hombre.

At 7:30 AM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Your post reminds me of a conversation in the British comedy Sci-Fi, "Red Dwarf":

Lister: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
Cat: Wilma Flintstone?
Lister: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I see that body, it drives me crazy. Is it me?
Cat: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived.
Lister: That's good. I thought I was going strange.
Cat: She's incredible!
Lister: What d'ya think of Betty?
Cat: Betty Rubble? Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be thinking of Wilma.

At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Melissa said...

Dude, you have definitely got an ass fetish.

At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Bob said...

Oooh, yes....Cheetarah of the thundercats....I'd forgotten all about her. I thought she was hot, too...but I've got to courage to yell it out to the blogosphere, without cowering behind anonymity, Senor Bigote....

At 5:35 PM, Blogger Asad said...

the internet = fucker cats


maybe there's something for tinkerbell as well

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Crankster said...

El Guapo, LOL is a cheesy, obnoxious acronym that I never use because, well, it is cheesy, and also because it is usually a lie.

I laughed out loud. My cat is looking at me funny. Thank you.


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