Hybrid Trash

Tengo un problema. Maybe I shouldn’t have a problema. You tell me. Por favor.

I’m very happy that the new residents of mi barrio choose to purchase hybrid vehicles. I’m very happy that they are saving money on gasoline. I’m very happy that they get a tax rebate for this purchase. I’m very happy that they are helping keep the Saudi Arabian man down. What is mi problema?

It seems that the owners of these hybrid cars have a problem understanding the rules of street parking. Maybe I’m over-generalizing. Let me re-phrase. It seems that the owners of COMPACT cars have a problem understanding the rules of street parking.

Mi amigo, you are driving a Tercel. You don’t need to take up two city blocks to park your car. Are you afraid that someone is going to scratch the bland gray off of your new Hybrid Civic? I can understand this concern, but please remember your fellow man that gets home at 1 AM and must park in front of the fire hydrant because you park your car with enough room for a Bolivian family of five to sleep head-to-toe in the front and back of your car. All you need is one foot at most. Just a thought.

I’d also like to remind the familia living across the street from me that their 40oz beer cans would look just as good in a trash can than on the front of their house. In the beginning, I told myself that you were artists expressing yourselves through the medium of trash. I don’t know, maybe you were protesting the commercialization of Navidad by throwing colored bottles in your front yard. Now, I realize that you are just lazy, enjoy throwing bottles from your porch and enjoy making my people look bad.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo