It turns out that some gang members read mi blog.
Yo recently received a slew of e-mails that makes me re-think some of the comments I’ve made in the past regarding the Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13) gang. After receiving several e-mails over the past dos semanas, I’d like to say that all of a sudden I don’t think the MS-13 gang is a bunch of pussies.
No, not pussies at all. In fact, I believe that members of the MS-13 gang are the type of people that most Americans would welcome into the United States with open arms.
In an e-mailed response to one of you I may have questioned your methods of attacking your victims with machetes. Did I think it unfair that 10 of you would attack one person? Yes. Do I think that now? No. Not even a little bit. Many of you have a way with words and have persuaded me to think differently. Am I saying that you have a command of written English and Espanol? Oh, not at all. I doubt that many of you ever got past the 4th grade. You are, however, very good at describing acts of violence. So much so that I would like to once again state for the record that not one MS-13 gang member is a pussy. You are the opposite of pussies. Bueno, not dicks per se, but hopefully you know what I mean. I have much respect for you.
In yet another e-mailed response to one of you I may have ridiculed the act of getting tattoos on your faces. I no longer believe that this is “an attempt to hide an already ugly face”. You are all very handsome. In fact, I believe that all the ink on your body makes you even more attractive to the victims you murder. It must be calming to be brutally murdered by a group of handsome fellows like yourself.
Remember how I said that Miguel and I urinate on the “MS-13” letters you like to spray paint on the walls of our neighborhood? I was exaggerating. The word “urinate” was a figure of speech guys. A metaphor if you will. Oh, you don’t know what a “metaphor” is? It doesn’t matter, really. All you need to know is that no urine of ours has ever graced any combination of the letters and numbers “M”, “S”, “1”, and “3”.
MS-13, take care of yourselves. Please accept my apologies for any miscommunication you may have experienced from any of my posts or e-mails. As the Georgetown kids say, “Dad, can I have more money?” or “Keep rocking on!”.
Mucho Amor, <- I mean it.