El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Gang Miscommunication


It turns out that some gang members read mi blog.

Yo recently received a slew of e-mails that makes me re-think some of the comments I’ve made in the past regarding the Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13) gang. After receiving several e-mails over the past dos semanas, I’d like to say that all of a sudden I don’t think the MS-13 gang is a bunch of pussies.

No, not pussies at all. In fact, I believe that members of the MS-13 gang are the type of people that most Americans would welcome into the United States with open arms.

In an e-mailed response to one of you I may have questioned your methods of attacking your victims with machetes. Did I think it unfair that 10 of you would attack one person? Yes. Do I think that now? No. Not even a little bit. Many of you have a way with words and have persuaded me to think differently. Am I saying that you have a command of written English and Espanol? Oh, not at all. I doubt that many of you ever got past the 4th grade. You are, however, very good at describing acts of violence. So much so that I would like to once again state for the record that not one MS-13 gang member is a pussy. You are the opposite of pussies. Bueno, not dicks per se, but hopefully you know what I mean. I have much respect for you.

In yet another e-mailed response to one of you I may have ridiculed the act of getting tattoos on your faces. I no longer believe that this is “an attempt to hide an already ugly face”. You are all very handsome. In fact, I believe that all the ink on your body makes you even more attractive to the victims you murder. It must be calming to be brutally murdered by a group of handsome fellows like yourself.

Remember how I said that Miguel and I urinate on the “MS-13” letters you like to spray paint on the walls of our neighborhood? I was exaggerating. The word “urinate” was a figure of speech guys. A metaphor if you will. Oh, you don’t know what a “metaphor” is? It doesn’t matter, really. All you need to know is that no urine of ours has ever graced any combination of the letters and numbers “M”, “S”, “1”, and “3”.

MS-13, take care of yourselves. Please accept my apologies for any miscommunication you may have experienced from any of my posts or e-mails. As the Georgetown kids say, “Dad, can I have more money?” or “Keep rocking on!”.

Mucho Amor, <- I mean it.

El Guapo

28 Comments:

At 3:14 PM, Anonymous nyc.anon said...

First, it was Goya and now MS-13. El Guapo is living dangerously.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger la guera loca said...

I like how that guy is using a computer from 1987. Just shows you how skilled they are at stealing things...well, things besides car stereos I mean. They're actually pretty good at that.

I also always found it curious that these people tattoo their names on their bodies. It's hard to assume a false identity if you've got "santiago andrade" in ink around your neck. It's like a latino calling card.

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger Sandra Dee said...

That picture is scarrrrrrry.

 
At 8:57 AM, Anonymous Mamasita said...

Awwwww....Guapo & MS-13. BFF!

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

cuidado Guapo, ellos no son tan "pussies". No me gusto de machetes-paz y amor

gringo en Brasil

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Larissa said...

weird i read your blog about MS-13, and what comes up at my lunch just now? MS-13. huh.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Aleida said...

Poor El Guapo! :)

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Velvet said...

Oh my. Honey, please be careful. I can't kick any MS-13 ass, I'm a wimp!

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said...

El Guapo - a self-portrait?

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

I wish I looked that cool.

 
At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MS-13 is no match for El Guapo and his killer flan. Bring it on!

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

For the record, by "bring it on" my anonymous commenter means only that El Guapo in no way shape or form wishes you to bring anything. Actually, if you need anything, just let him know. Again, por favor don't bring anything. Gracias.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger John said...

"Beauty is a curse on the world."

 
At 7:02 AM, Anonymous ny.anon said...

Nonsense! El Guapo, there is no reason why you can't also look muy cool.

All you need is a fine-tip, black Magic Marker.

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger Phil said...

El Guapo, do you not know Rule 1 of the 13 rules of MS-13?

Do not blog about MS-13.

I learned this when I was a member of Sombre Negra in my youth.

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rule 14: do not wear a bad wig when making a comment about El Guapo's blog.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Phil said...

What wig?

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger AK47 said...

Really funny !

Btw why 13 ? Why not 14 or 775 ?

And the guy, well he is ... ugly

Sorry !

 
At 1:20 PM, Anonymous ny.anon said...

Upon occasion, tattoos should be highly recommended.

 
At 3:07 AM, Blogger sha said...

Gee, they aren't going to get very far in life if they can't take a little criticism.
Besides, if they can run a computer, why aren't they doing work with said machine? Seems like they are putting good talent to waste. Use those fingers for lovin that keyboard rather than hatin' on others

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Namaste said...

really funny.

hate the haters!

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Phil said...

Ak - 13 is a number representative of southern california in the gang-world.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Johnny said...

I asked the ipod if you would lose both hands in a machete fight.

And it said.

take a guess.

Kung Fu Fighting
Carl Douglas

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Waiter said...

I used to work in an inner city hospital. The Latin Kings gangmembers, or their victims, were always coming in with stab wounds or worse.

Be careful mi amigo!

Waiter

 
At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Advicelord said...

Perhaps your were urinating around the letters along the concrete wall, seeing who could get the closest without actually touching them? This is actually a recreational activity enjoyed by many at advicelord.com during our lunch breaks...

 
At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It looks like that guy is starting his own blog - do you think he'll call it gangsterrant?

 
At 9:39 PM, Anonymous FUCK MS-13 said...

FUCK MS-13 AND ALL THE PUSS

 
At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many legal citizens of this country need the media to explain to them the kind of strain that is going to be put on the American people if President Bush is successful in granting citizenship to upwards of 25 million ignorant voters who love Mexico and care nothing about becoming an American citizen, except for the benefits they will reap. We the American middle class will have our voices toned down to a quiet buzz.

I am a proud Texan, and I live in a neighborhood that was starting to be taken over by illegal aliens who were granted amnesty in 1989; one year after we moved here in 1988. We built a small house, and they brought their trailers and their numbers. It is now 2007 and our neighborhood is dominated by Mexicans. They throw litter in my ditch, paint the street signs in the neighborhood with gang symbols, jump kids who are walking down the road, and there is trash everywhere. This is in Magnolia Texas; a little town with very little crime rate and very few trashy people, that is until the Mexican’s who were granted amnesty started pouring in. I am finally fixing to be able to move out of this neighborhood, and I for one can tell you; these people care nothing for America because they are proud Mexican’s to the core. Our values are not the same as theirs. They profess their love for a country that is corrupt, and spit on the U.S.A.

Bush’s Secret Plan of a North American Union with Canada and Mexico which will expand our borders to include them will cause civil war in this country.

 

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