Rule Number 1

You know, I believe that women should be treated fairly in the workplace. I’ve grown sick and tired of seeing women have to sit in the back of the truck for so long. It is time they call “shot gun” and ride in the front seat for good. Actually, forget riding in the front seat. It’s time they drive the truck.

Why am I such a feminist this morning?

I just witnessed a neighborhood woman get the raw end of a business transaction. You see, one of the local prostitutes forgot the #1 rule of turning tricks: Get your money first.

Maybe he had an honest face. Maybe his command of four letter words made him trusting. Maybe the shirt with the mysterious yellow stain made him seem charming. I don’t know. You know why? Rule #1 of tricking: Get your money first. No exceptions.

I wasn’t there to see the transaction, but I was there to hear the aftermath. It seems that the customer wasn’t satisfied with the transaction and refused to pay. While I believe that rule number one should have been followed, I still believe that the woman was taken advantage of. Would this have happened if the gentleman was with one of the local transvestites? No. First, they always follow rule number one and would not tolerate back talk from their customers.

I just wish the customer understood Spanish because the poetry spewing from this woman’s mouth was truly beautiful:

“Oh, Captain Tiny Pants doesn’t want to pay? You give me my money you Two Minute Champion!”

I almost went outside to serve as a translator, but I did not wish to interfere in a private business transaction.

Captain Tiny Pants and Two Minute Champion. I love mi barrio so much. So very much.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo