El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Mi corazon...Worst day ever

Today very well may be the worst day of mi vida. Some of ustedes may be thinking that El Guapo is being a little dramatic, but rest assured mis amigos, I am not being dramatic. Today very well may be the worst day of mi vida.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy. The sunlight on my face on a brisk winter morning makes me smile, seeing my mother and sisters dance in the kitchen makes me laugh out loud, seeing the first skirt of spring just makes me proud to be a Guatemalan male, having a nice piece of flan makes my day.

Flan. Oh glorious, glorioso flan. We’ve discussed my love for flan. Sometimes all I ever want after a hard day is flan. It is my culinary version of cocaine.

Today very well may be the worst day of my life. My entire life.

After a long day of work I came home thinking about the flan waiting for me in my refrigerator. There was no more homemade flan in the fridge, so I grabbed two of the next best thing: Goya Flan. I opened up the first package and satan himself was staring at me. It’s ok, satan has been known to tempt the Guatemalan people. I have another package of flan. I set Satan aside and open up the next package…Satan again. Satan has manifested himself in the form of mold in my flan.



Damn you Satan! Is nothing sacred? Why do you have to destroy my flan? If I had purchased a generic flan brand I would understand, but I bought Goya. Goya! Goya is who Latinos turn to when they ache for their distant tierras.

Mi corazon…mi pobre corazon.


Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

22 Comments:

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

I don't mean to laugh during your grief, but there is something terribly funny about the photograph of those little diseased flan packets.

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Prom said...

What is the pull date? Maybe you need to shop in better places.

 
At 4:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goya does not like El Guapo's blog anymore.

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger Velvet said...

As my Dad would say: "Eat around the mold."

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how do you know it was truly mold and not the result of Caucasian gossip. Did you taste it?

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger Aleida said...

I'm with Velvet on this one. Desperate times and all...:)

 
At 6:28 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Are these flan from the Safeway on Columbia Road in Adams Morgan? I once managed to buy moldy jello from there. I didn't know Jello COULD mold. Safeway on Columbia Road = Satan's Moldy Mold Outlet

 
At 7:24 PM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

I'm thinking about taking them out of the trash when I get home and growing the mold. This must be the happiest mold in the entire world.

Oh, Columbia Heights Giant

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger casey said...

Mold in my flan it's almost as bad as rum without coke. Guapo, I feel your pain.

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Vida said...

Chico,
I've never tried Goya's flan. How about trying Kozy Shack's flan. I've betrayed my Goya people I know, but damn it it's good. Otherwise go to El Tamarindo.

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger Kunstemæcker said...

ai tio. Satano en tu goya, vaya putada!

Joder!

Por que! Dimelo. Por que!

 
At 5:46 AM, Blogger Prom said...

You know Guapo, there are some things you Guatemalans could learn from us gringas. What you do is take a couple more, very graphic photos of the mold with the Goya name very clear. Then you write a letter to Goya saying how horrified you were to find it in your favorite brand of flan. You enclose the pictures. Say you aren't sure you'll ever trust your money to Goya again. They will surely send you a coupon for a case of flan as an apology and good will gesture.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger Petra said...

I'm with Prom.....you might even be able to sue for the distess it has caused you.

Welcome to America!

Petra

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

The devil is in the details, like huge ugly blips of mold. EWWWWWW!!

However if this is the worst day of your life, you are living under a charm I'd like to know about.

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Larissa said...

ugh so nast. glad i haven't had lunch yet!

 
At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goya says that El Guapo is diablo incarnate.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

Oh Anonymous. You and your hurtful words. Goya loves the El Guapo familia. We have easily put a couple of their ninos through university.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous coquettecutie said...

You should post a list of El Guapo-approved flan joints in the barrio. Moi? Je préfère une crème brûlée. ;)

 
At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post is getting moldy...

 
At 1:20 PM, Anonymous fran said...

LMBO wackala....

I love your blog. :)

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger TheAmpuT said...

If you took a little blow torch to it to eradicate the mold, you could officially call it creme brulee.

I learned that in culinary school. But I never learned how to pull off flan. I tried it once, and my then 5 year-old said, "Mommy, that's not flan...that's FLOP!" I never tried it again. Which is sad. Cuz it's one of my favorite foods.

 
At 12:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goya is the Chef Boyardee of the latin comida..

que lastima..

 

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