No Quotes Needed
Latin men are passionate, but when it comes to affairs of the heart, we are guarded. Some of you may recall that Miguel had been spending a lot of time with a rubia he met some months ago. Well, Miguel informed me today that this was no longer.
I didn’t ask any questions because his eyes looked tired from staring at nothing. Mi amigo is a romantic who has the unfortunate luck of always falling for the women who allow him to do just that. Fall.
Although alcohol isn’t the end all be all of anyone’s problems, it is the preferred way for males to unwind. I call up Miguel’s cousin Rodrigo and we meet at a bar nearby.
The original topic of conversation, how the U.S. soccer team was beaten by Germany this last week, was started by Rodrigo’s primo Jimmy (pronounced Himmy, Miguel’s third cousin.) Miguel, who is a soccer aficionado, wasn’t chiming in with his usual Rainman-like statistics.
“Snap out of it uey! You’re depressing this entire restaurant with your look.”
“You’re depressing me with your face. My look will go away later today, quiza tomorrow, but your face will always be like that. This is what depresses me.”
Mi amigo is not in the mood to talk. Maybe bringing him here was a bad idea. Maybe we should have sat around the TV eating chips. I just happen to have purchased some at CVS. Stupid El Guapo…
“Miguel, look, don’t take your little fight with the rubia out on me!”
Ok, uncomfortable silence. Third-cousins… what does that mean anyway? I don’t really count third-cousins as being related. I don’t have one third cousin that I’ve liked. Jimmy wasn’t really that close with Miguel and was interested in his own voice. Rodrigo wasn’t doing anything but watching the TV, then all of a sudden, he chimed in:
“It’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.”
“What? What did you just say?”
He repeated it without looking away from the TV.
“Who the FUCK says this?”
“It’s something people say.”
“What people say this? En serio, what kind of people allow this mierda to come out of their mouths?”
Silence. Miguel’s chin was tilted towards his chest with his lips firmly pressed together as he stared at Rodrigo.
“Miguel, it’s something people say. It’s a saying. It means that you’re much better off than those that have never been in love.”
“That….is by far…..the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. You….become….the dumbest fucking person for repeating the dumbest fucking thing. You think it’s better to have loved and lost? You think so? Let me tell you something, you inbred bastard. Do you think, for one segundo, that I enjoy waking up in the morning afraid, because I know that she’s not by my side? Do you think I like holding back tears every moment that I’m awake because every little thing I see reminds me of her? Do you think that I enjoy the feeling of empty air coming in and out of my chest when I see a happy couple walk by? Do you think I fucking enjoy, even a little bit, knowing that I’m going to be going home by myself tonight and that she’s out there with some hijo de una puta? Rodrigo? Do you? Better to have loved and lost? No. No, it’s not better. The person who said that has never lost love. The person who said that has never been in love to have lost it. So do me a favor. Keep your fucking mouth shut if you’re going to say things like that!”
Miguel looked over at me with a look that I understood to mean, “Coming here was a great idea…,” he got up and stormed off.
I threw some money for the two of us on the table and stormed after him leaving Jimmy and Rodrigo still reeling from the verbal lashing just witnessed.
Miguel walked with his shoulders forward and hands in his pockets. I caught up with him, put my hand out and firmly grabbed his shoulder.
No words. No quotes.
Just two amigos walking down the street trying to make it with dry cheeks in this crazy world.