Rumors: Not Guatemalans!
There are evil rumors going around about El Guapo. I’m not sure who is responsible for these rumors, perhaps that cabron Miguel, but I can not pin this solely on him. Not yet anyway.
I’ve been receiving e-mails. Not the regular e-mails that I receive from you, my amigos, but e-mails offering particular types of services. Services, that although I appreciate the thought of it all, I don’t need.
Moments ago I received an e-mail that made me write this post. It was from a nice girl named Areli Farrington. I do not know this woman, but she seems to think that I would benefit from Viagra pills for $3.75 a pill.
Mi amor, perhaps you do not know about me, El Guapo. I am Guatemalan. Does this make you realize the error of your e-mail? Did you perhaps think that I was Argentinean? If so, please, do not let this error occur again. I beg of you.
As a Guatemalan male, I was blessed by whatever supreme power blessed all Guatemalans with virility. This is a widely known fact. If you go around giving the Viagra pill to Guatemalans I’m afraid that the entire female population in the United States would be overworked by our love making. The women would be too tired to work. Guatemalans do not want the US economy to falter because of our loins. After all, we need to send dinero home!
Argentineans, unfortunately, did not have this same blessing. Guatemalans were given the gift of amazing love making abilities and the Argentineans were given, well, they have nice hair. Their facial hair is lacking what we Guatemalans can offer, but they try. Bless their little hearts.
But El Guapo, surely the Argentineans are very good at something. They are good at soccer, no?
Yes. They are very good at soccer, but only number two, maybe three in Latin America. Argentina will forever be Brazil’s little bitch when it comes to soccer. When it comes to love making, they have much learning to do from the Guatemalans. Much learning. Having pretty hair will only get you so far in life. Perhaps Argentineans would be well served to contact Ms. Areli Farrington for some Viagra?
Ms. Farrington, lo siento that your e-mail will not garner you some business, but hopefully you will be able to focus your marketing skills towards the Latin population that needs help. I understand how you got Guatemala confused with Argentina. Those four syllable country names can confuse even the best of us.
Rule of thumb is this: Guatemala starts with “G” and we are GREAT. Argentina starts with “A” and they are Average. Easy no?