I’m lucky to have close friends. I’ve known most of my best friends ever since I was old enough to throw rocks at cars and blame the Honduran kid down the road. With my amigos, bueno, there are no limits to our conversations. We cover topics far and wide without ever having to worry about what people think.
“I think you’re wrong El Guapo. I think Jesus Christ was really fast. Don’t you think that he had some kind of a super power other than the whole bringing people back to life and the whole wine thing? Vamos. He’s the son of God. I bet he was really fast. I don't buy the whole 'built like a carpenter' business.”
Miguel and I often discuss the potential superpowers of biblical characters. I personally don’t think that Jesus was very fast. I’m sure he was pretty quick, maybe even above average in speed, but I can’t see him being track star fast. Not with those sandals. Lo siento. I don’t see it. Miguel also believes that Noah's beard was used as a prop during his on board magic shows...
“It’s not cheating if she doesn’t know about it. I don’t care what you say. And no, if a tree falls when no one is around I don’t think it makes a sound. So there. If she has no clue about it, then it never happened.”
Miguel also believes in being able to date as many women as he likes until he has the very specific conversation saying that he won’t see other women.
“The conversation must be VERY specific. I must say that I will not make love with any more women. Because making love to a woman and “seeing other women” are two very different things.”
I’m not sure if many of you know this, but Latino men, especially those from Central America, enjoy wearing the tank top undershirt. We usually have this underneath all articles of clothing and enjoy lounging around while wearing this, jeans and our Timberland boots. Si, this is how we roll.
One day, a Uruguayan came over wearing Birkenstocks. He is no longer our friend. No self-respecting Latino allows himself to wear Birkenstocks. If you are Argentinean, si, then I am told this is allowed, but no. Not around me.
“He was your amigo El Guapo. No friend of mine would wear them. I don’t even know what he was doing. If I hadn’t been busy throwing him out of your door, I would have taken away his Latino card.”
Si, I don’t like them either, but did you have to burn them and mail them back to him?
“Claro! It must serve as a warning to all every Latino in this area. The wearing of Birkenstocks will not be tolerated.”