El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Friday, January 12, 2007


Smell me. En serio. Smell me. Don’t be afraid of the mustache. It will hypnotize you, but won’t bite.

Do you smell that? I call it Guatemalan Musk. Do you like it? Of course you do.

Smell my jacket. Do you smell the musk combined with the Polo Sport cologne? Nice, no? Yes, finally, the people of Washington, DC can smell my musk. Why? Because smoking has been banned in bars and restaurants in mi capitol.

I had not been a fan of the ban when Indiana Jones was talking about it on the news, but I have to say that I am a fan now. Just the fact that Washington DC can enjoy the Guatemalan musk is reason enough to thank the DC council.

“Dios, that was the bartender that was serving us? I thought she was a goddess. Que pasó?”

Bueno, maybe there are downsides to the ban. You can actually see people in the bar instead of sifting through the smoky haze. One of Miguel’s favorite bartenders ended up being a 45 year old woman from Long Island.

“I didn’t even know she had that annoying accent? The smoke must have affected the sound.”

Miguel has theories about how smoke can alter sound. I won’t get into it right now, but I will tell you that he once talked about the sound an orange makes when it hits a leaf covered forest floor. Aren’t you jealous of mi vida?

“El Guapo, I like this a lot. Now, I know who to go after.”

Oh yes. Miguel only goes after smokers when he’s prowling like a cheetah. That’s another theory of his.

“Smokers are more fun in bed El Guapo. Same with Republicans.”

Yeah… Miguel has theories… Now all the smokers congregate outside the bars smoking in what some call anti-social clusters, but Miguel views as his very own watering hole.

“When you stop being a vagina, you will actually jump on a grenade or two for me.”

El Guapo doesn’t jump on grenades. Not now, not ever. Smoke or no smoke. It just doesn’t happen.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 2:25 AM, Blogger Facinacion said...

No smoking in bars...
boo I guess I'll join the anti-social clusters.

At 9:29 AM, Anonymous melissa said...

I'm not sure if I really agree with the ban, but as a former smoker I love the fact that I can go to a bar and not be tempted by smokers, and also that I don't leave stinking. So all in all, I think it's a good thing for me. And you it seems. I think I smelled you the other night actually....

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

They banned smoking in bars and restaurants in Scotland in March last year. As an ex-smoker, not having to be coated in the cancerous fumes of drug addicts suits me fine. However, now they all huddle in doorways and I get coated when walking to the shops instead

At 6:26 PM, Blogger Namaste said...

I love the cheetah line the best.

At 9:22 PM, Blogger Foilwoman said...

Hey, what's your problem with 45-year old women? (Trick question.) ;)

At 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your writing makes me feel good.

I'm lovin' it.


At 10:05 AM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

I love a man with theories. They usually make lists, too.

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Lee said...

Hilarious writing! I will definitely be back! I'm near DC too and while I'm all about individual rights, it's so nice to come home from a bar and not crack open my head trying to take a shower while extremely intoxicated.

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to hear more about how smoking alters sound.

El Guapo, I wish your blog was scratch and sniff so I could smell your musky scent.

At 8:52 PM, Blogger Thiltetu said...

El Guapo...you have said something that I have believed for years- that the sexiest scent on a man is his own.

I wish I knew a sexy Guatemalan with a mustache like yours : (


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