El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

That was a purr

“So, you want some company?”

Random, no real reason other than we can, road trip to Atlantic City. It’s strange. It turns out that Miguel goes to Atlantic city all the time. It also turns out that Miguel has a “system” for playing slots. It also turns out that Miguel plays enough to have his room paid for by the casino. As veces, I am in awe of mi amigo’s secret life.

In places like Atlantic City, one is often approached by ladies of the night. For me, it is always an uncomfortable conversation where I am trying to tell them that I am truly flattered that they chose me to be persuaded into paying them for some kind of sexual act, but that I was going to try and not pay for something which is free.

Usually Miguel is the same. Usually he waves them off. Usually.

It had been a bad night for Miguel. His “system” wasn’t working and he had one too many glasses of scotch.

“Wheel of Fortune wheel! Why aren’t you my friend!!!????!!! Why don’t you make love to sweet Miguel? Porque????”

He was yelling loudly and at times sensually massaging the machine in front of him. I was sitting further to his side so that he couldn’t see me shake my head and laugh. I was staying for free on his bill after all…

I didn’t see her walk up, but I can imagine that she glided through the casino on her blue high heels and made the mistake the mistake of thinking that Miguel was a good target.

“Hi there. Having any luck?”

Miguel turned his head, looked the couldn’t be older than 22 year old brunette up and down, then returned his gaze to the flashing screens.

“What do you think about having a little company back in your room?”

“Company? Amiga, you can’t handle what I got.”

“Oh yeah? Mmmmm. I like that. Why don’t we go somewhere to find out?”

“What would that take?”

“Five hundred dollars.”

“Ah. I see. It’s complicated. You see, I’m actually in the business myself. And um, I charge a lot more than that. Maybe you should try something that is in your budget?”

“What do you mean? I don’t get it.”

“I know. It is very confusing. Pay attention. I, do what you do, but for a much higher price. So, and this is very confusing, so pay attention, if you want to have my company, you better go to the ATM or get a cash advance on your credit card. Then, go buy some Red Bull because baby, I will make you forget that you’re wearing your prom dress in a casino. Rrrrrrrrrrrrr. That’s a purr mami. I'm bringing sexy back!”

She walked away without saying a thing and Miguel just returned to his game.

That was a purr.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 3:32 AM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

I've never been approached by a lady of the night. I know this because I've checked back through my blog and can't find any entries, and I can't imagine I wouldn't have blogged about it if I had.

Either my stunning good looks are too intimdating, or my stunning ugliness is too offputting.

But I will remember that line if ever I should need it. Gracias amigo.

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Eryn said...

Miguel is a genius.

Absolute. Freaking. Genius.

At 10:54 AM, Anonymous aaliyah said...

LOL! I f'n LOVE Miguel! Even though I'm not nieve, do you think he'll marry me??? LOL!

At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Miguel.
PS: how much DOES he charge?

At 11:38 AM, Blogger A Margarita said...

Haha! Miguel is priceless! I bet he would have been worth every penny ;)

At 12:12 PM, Blogger Mary Witzl said...

I've never been approached by a lady of the night either, though I have seen my fair share. I think it may have something to do with my gender, and the fact that for some reason I am often mistaken for a missionary.

I too am impressed with your friend's clever method of discouraging the young lady. Very gently but firmly done.

At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! I wish I could ahve been there to see the expression on that girl's face as she stalked away.

At 3:49 PM, Blogger green_canary said...

"I'm bringing sexy back." Miguel sure knows how to deliver a line :)

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

You are blessed to have a friend like Miguel...hours/days/months/years of entertainment...even if he does eat all your flan.

At 8:58 AM, Blogger ADW said...

Ah Miguel - I love those stories.

I have been approached by a lady of the night, but I'll save that story for another day.

How much DOES Miguel charge???

At 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was your best blog ever!!!

I love Miguel!!!

At 6:40 PM, Blogger moonrat said...

does miguel ever visit nueva york?

At 10:39 PM, Blogger valiantqueen said...

That is fabulous! Ah Miguel, if only I could have one night.....

At 1:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 4:24 AM, Blogger Facinacion said...

ha ha ha.... nothing like reading El Guapo's post while waiting for a connection at the airport... kills time for sure.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger James said...

Hilarious. Good blog, by the way.


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