SLAP WARS

When we were growing up, there wasn’t a lot of money for the extras. But as kids, we never really knew the difference. You can’t miss what you don’t have and don’t see. So, as any group of neighborhood kids do, we made our own fun without the use of the usual store bought toys.

When we were around 12 years old we would often have the conversations common among boys of our age:

“I bet my cousin Manny could kick your dad’s ass.” “Would you have sex with your sister for one million dollars?” “Do you think Mrs. Kraft (choir teacher) wants me?”

And you get the idea. We would sit around for hours discussing the most ridiculous scenarios and argue vehemently one side or the other. It was great times.

However, the BEST game that we have ever come up with, and likely ever will, was SLAP WARS.

The idea of a Slap War is simple. There are two participants. It is decided who goes first. Bets are made on who will last longer. The two participants then open hand slap the other across the face as hard as they can, one at a time. The person who doesn’t quit wins.

It is fantastico.

There are just a couple of rules:

1. Slaps must be done with an open hand. No back-handed slaps. No fists. SLAP WAR is a fun game. Not a fight.
2. You can’t switch sides of the face you are hitting. If you start with the right side, you must finish with the right side.
3. Slaps must be administered to one side of the face. No side slapping, ie, no slaps that also hit the nose. This is a friendly game of slap war.

I once saw a Slap War go on for almost an hour. You would think that the face is the only thing that hurts in a slap war, but your hand becomes extremely sore after several slaps. It is a game that requires the participants to be very calculating in how begin and finish the war. If you start off too hard you run the risk of hurting your hand, but also can put your opponent in pain.

To this day, when we are randomly sitting around, you will hear one of us say,

“Who do you think would win in a slap war? George Bush or Bill Clinton?” “Maradona or Ronaldo?” “Marion Barry or Adrian Fenty?” “Ronald McDonald or the Hamburgler?” “Tom Selleck or Erik Estrada?” “Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan?” “Daddy Yankee or Mace?” “Crocodile Dundee or the Crocodile Hunter?”

You get the picture. Hours of fun are Slap Wars. Watching, participating or discussing. BEST GAME EVER.

Any match ups you envision?

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo