El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Lacoste. Le Douche


The little alligator.

The brand had disappeared from my eyes until sometime in 2000 when the French decided to make it cool again in the United States.

I remember seeing the blonde haired, blue-eyed children wearing the shirts that were simply “a collared shirt with an alligator”, but were beyond mi madre’s budget. She once sewed a salamander type creature onto one of my shirts to make me feel better, but it didn’t. I wore it to make mi mama think that it was the same, but for it was hard to be the kid with the mutant reptile on his shirt.

I always wanted to be one of those perfect blonde haired kids, with their Osh-Kosh B’Gosh and the shoes that never seemed to be dirty.

Then I wanted to push them in the mud. Not a violent push. More like gently leading them into the mud.

Anyway, the Lacoste brand was always something that I associated with the elite of the world. As a simple Guatemalan with a mustache that makes the birds sing, I realized that some things were just not meant to be. But deep down, I wished to have some kind of a Lacoste collection.

But no more. No. Never again. Actually, I am really glad that I could never afford a Lacoste shirt because of this:

What is this? This, mis amigos, is Macy’s way of telling me, telling the world, that Lacoste is sooooo 2005. (Imagine Paris Hilton saying that)

Green hat + Alligator + Green collared shirt + Popped collar + Alligator =Douchiness.
Blue hat + Alligator + Blue collared shirt + Popped collar + Alligator = Douchiness.
Yellow hat + Alligator + Yellow collared shirt + Popped collar + Alligator = Douchiness.

Questions? It's very easy to explain:

Once something makes it to Macy’s you know that it stopped being cool and is just within my financial grasp when it makes its way to the TJ Maxx or Marshall’s (discount stores) of the world. Mira, I know that being Guatemalan is pretty much the most amazing thing one can be, but even I can admit that once the Guatemalans can begin affording to buy something, it's no longer cool.

Look at what happened to Tommy Hilfiger. It's now the brand of choice for all the crack dealers in mi barrio.

Just like that. Lacoste is done. It has now become a symbol of the American douche. Gracias Macy’s. Gracias for pointing out to me, what should have been so apparent long ago.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 6:43 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Yeesh... so glad I never ran into you as a kid... as I would have been so tossed into the mud (since I meet the picture you describe to a T when I was a little kid).
And oh god... are those collars popped?

At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAH el guapo. another lovely, good-to-look-forward-to for the before, and good-for-the-after, reading of the post.
So what does the average Guatemalan wear? What do You wear?

At 11:59 PM, Blogger skatecat said...

they have good perfume but.
Very apparent, yet hidden in plain sight - Paris is more underprivileged than elite. Basic education, no employment, socially vulnerable.
back to the perfume

At 6:23 AM, Blogger Fascinacion said...

My family leaves in the SUBURBS, where not many other Latinos live. My niece, I think is the only black haired in her grade. Once, while we were driving through an Arlington shopping centre, she says: stop the car!
I stop and she stairs at a girl, her age, walking on the street. "She looks like me!" (black haired).
I don't care much for Paris Hilton, but the earlier part of your post reminded me of my beautiful niece.

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Little sausage said...

Guapo - the Lacoste shirt wouldn't have matched your capixay or your caites!

At 10:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why on earth would anyone want a LaCoste, when a Miguel is so much more original?

At 3:41 PM, Blogger desiree said...

With clothes, I just want to feel good wearing them. The brand doesn't hold much importance.

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wore those shirts as a kid. But I wasn't blonde or blue eyed. As the youngest, I got them after both of my big brothers had outgrown the shirt in turn, usually after they'd recieved it from another family of growing children. The advantage to this was that it was practically a new shirt when it got to me: It started out some nice solid color like navy, or red, or green, but by the time it arrived in my drawer it had faded so much it was pastel. Nobody could identify it with the original shirt unless they followed its lineage.

At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Korvo said...

I do not understand this post, El Guapo. How can Guatemalans not be cool? This does not compute. You are GUAPO!

At 11:31 AM, Blogger savannah said...

i am so laughing out loud here...my kids had the hand-me down shirts...so faded they were cool again..i missed the lacoste popularity back in the day...we were living overseas and they were just shirts

At 2:30 AM, Blogger Yinn said...

Lacoste. Le Douche

are they from lacoste outlet or onsite

like this site

lacoste polo sale
lacoste shirts on sale

At 9:46 AM, Blogger Burlas said...

lacoste brand of shirt's is one of my favorite i really love their clothing and i feel comfortable every time i wearing one..

Neuse River News - Oriental NC


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