El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Gambling Event

Most people may not know this about Guatemalans, but we are avid gamblers. We tend to bet money on just about everything. Sports, cards, cows, pigeons and now one of our favorites: The National Spelling Bee.

The 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee is an event where kids under 16 years of age from the U.S., Europe, Canada, New Zealand, Guam, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, The Bahamas, and American Samoa compete in their ability to spell long and useless English words.

It’s amazing.

In the United States, it is televised. We have almost every male in mi barrio involved in this. Miguel has a war room set up in his place and is in charge of all the bets. Pictures of the final 15 contestants and the words they spelled correctly to make it to the finals.


My money is ALWAYS on the Indian kids. Why? Because they are ALWAYS the ones with the premature mustaches. ALWAYS.

My good hard-earned money is on my main man Prateek Kohli.
Look at that mustache. LOOK at that mustache! Look at his shirt buttoned all the way up. Look at the way he parts his hair. While other kids are reading magazines showing some skin, Prateek has a dictionary in his hand. He knows the country of origin for the word onychomycosis. Hombre, when that mustache fills out he's going to dominate.

“You can’t just bet on the mustaches El Guapo. The white kids always surprise you. The ones with the devil’s mark win too!”

Devil’s Mark?

“Freckles. Connor Spencer is my choice. He spelled amphipneustic. Before that, he was straight up amazing. He can hang with me any day, papi! That, and he has two last names! You have to go with him. Oh, he breeds parakeets.”

There was even a favorite that was eliminated this year: Samir Patel. Samir misspelled the word “clevis”. Idiota... His mother appealed his elimination. Why? The U.S. media didn’t seem to know. Luckily for all of you, I know the real reason. His madre came down to the barrio and placed a nice bet on her boy Samir.

It’s just too bad that the competition isn’t open to Guatemalans. We would dominate.

Was the word pupusa a word in the competition? Probably not. Gringos are afraid of our flavor.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Honorary Guatemalan in Adams Morgan said...

I am not making this up, but there are people outside the Grand Hyatt where this is being held protesting the spelling bee saying it puts too much pressure on children. They are holding up signs like "Take the sting out of the bee." And "put the 'i' back in friendly." I kid you not...people have way, way, way too much time on their hands. I'll take bets on whether or not someone punches one of those protestors!

At 4:54 PM, Blogger eg(scotland) said...

Well Hi. I'm the other EG.

I have to admit that I like a bit of a flutter (gamble) myself. Usually on the horses (just the big events a few times a year) and sometimes on the football (soccer).

Is it ok to admit I have the Devil's Mark? My freckles are not as prominent as when I was a child but the summer sun stills brings them out!


At 5:53 PM, Blogger E :) said...

If I were a betting gal, I'd bet on the guy who breeds parakeets (correct term: budgierigars - those birds are Australian natives, after all).

At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like the added fact that ESPN broadcasts some of the rounds! . . .

*i was a total nerd in school and always enjoy watching nerdy, gangly, awkward kids get their 15 minutes of glory.

At 1:44 AM, Blogger Namaste said...

too funny.

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Jo said...

Freckle's are the devil's mark? Who knew?

At 2:11 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

I wasn't even aware that this competition was taking place until I saw the winner on Good Morning America today juggling while spelling...so strange...sorry you didn't win!


At 2:20 AM, Blogger valiantqueen said...

ALWAYS bet on the Asian kid! ALWAYS! They may not have moustaches, but man do they have the study skills!


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