El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Saturday, June 09, 2007

New shirt

I come home to find Miguel sprawled out on my couch, beer in hand, empty yogurt cups on the floor, one boot on and the other on top of an old bookshelf.

Cabron, your boot is on my bookshelf.

“Si. I took it off when I was over there. Here, give it here. I need it for later.”

I stand there with my hand on his work boot trying to decide if I’m going to throw it at his face or actually hand it to him. I hand it to him. Why? I have no idea. I’m left thinking what a boot to the face would do to my friend and his habit of eating all of my yogurt.

“Do you like my shirt? I found it. It is by far the best shirt ever made in the history of man.”

Your nephew calls me daddy

That’s pretty funny. You found that?

“No. I had it made. I thought of it while I was sleeping and I had it made. I had one made for you too. I put it inside your cupboard.”

Oh, that’s a good place to put a shirt. Gracias though.

I walk over to my cupboard and sitting in between a couple of my glasses is a gray t-shirt with the words “Your Nephew Calls me Daddy” sitting above a drawing of a child with a blanket.

You really want to walk around with a shirt that basically tells people that you slept with and impregnated their sister?

“Si. It’s brilliant. I, mi amigo, am a genius.”

Why don’t you just get a shirt made that says “I fucked your sister”?

“Porque? Why? I’ll tell you why El Guapo. And that is basically the basic difference between the two of us. I have a thinking man’s humor. I'm a thinker. I like to say things that makes the world reflect, while you just want to come out and say words like ‘fuck’. My shirt says that I got your sister pregnant, but in a way that is going to make the person realize it 10 minutes later. I’m making the world better by speaking and making shirts.”

Yeah. You're quite the philosopher. So you want everyone to know that you slept with their sister?

“Si. Because I probably did.”

That’s why I like you Miguel. You’re a true humanitarian.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 4:16 AM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Time for Miguel to open a shop at cafepress.com so he can sell these t-shirts worldwide

At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha. It actually did take me a few minutes to get what the shirt meant how Miguel stated it.

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Jenni said...

thinking man's humor... too funny

At 12:29 PM, Blogger Mac G said...

No Comment

At 2:52 PM, Anonymous F.. said...

even though this quote has nothing to do with this post but it reminded me of u and ur moustache
'A kiss without a moustache is like egg without salt'
take care

At 4:18 PM, Blogger Mac G said...

Maradona Clone

At 5:41 PM, Blogger savannah said...

just so you know...i've been laughing out loud *inside* ever since i read this post...especially, "thinking man's humor"

At 4:14 PM, Anonymous ListenToLeon said...

That's some funny shit. I agree with kim ayres. That shirt needs to be for sale

At 1:49 AM, Blogger Term Papers said...

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