El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Restaurant closed

Hombre, what’s the matter with you? You’re all uptight. Where is your little friend? Miranda, Monica, Marcela, or whatever? What’s her name?

“Monica. I was over there earlier. She’s in a mood.”

What did you do?

“El Guapo, I did nothing. Nada. I just went over there and she started yelling at me.”


“Si. Her special visitor is among us.”

Ah. That’s not so bad though.

“I know. I don’t mind it either. But when it comes, she shuts down.”

What do you mean she shuts down?

“She shuts down. You know. She shuts down. It’s movie time when her special visitor comes. Movies with John Cusack. It’s horrible.”

I still don’t get it. Why does she shut down?

“She says that she doesn’t like it when her visitor is in town?”

She doesn’t like it?

“She doesn’t like it. The restaurant shuts down.”

But why does it have to shut down? She’s just out of arroz con leche. You can still have flan, ice cream…

“Fruit, pupusas, tamales, si, I know. Not with her. If she’s out of arroz con leche, she shuts down the restaurant. It’s closed for a couple of days.”

Restaurant is closed.

“Restaurant is closed.”

So what are you doing tonight?

“I don’t know. I can’t deal with that. I'm hungry. I’m going to go see if there are any other restaurants open tonight. Interested?”

You better believe it.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 3:20 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...


At 5:57 PM, Anonymous snowy! said...

I think it is safer that you stay away when her friend is around. They say it brings bears, and you don't want to be caught at the buffet when the bears come... Or not even your beautiful Guatemalan mustache can save you, and that would clearly be a huge loss to humanity.

At 11:05 PM, Blogger Name in Vain said...

El Guapo, that was a hilarious post! excellent, excellent job :)

At 2:26 AM, Blogger valiantqueen said...

You see, this is why I have had to swear off caucasian men -- they get all upset about a little visitor and they won't even open the door to the restaurant for days! They just get out their own kraft dinner and cook over their own hot stove. Sad, sad, sad. Miguel, El Guapo, if you are ever in my town, be assured that the restaurant never closes!

At 4:10 AM, Blogger Little sausage said...

El G - You are just so damn funny! Apart from when you rip Argentines, but apart from that, so so funny..

At 12:37 PM, Blogger jillian said...


At 12:04 PM, Blogger Mac G said...

I say drink a bunch of wine and let the red river flow all night long! :)

At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Julie said...

Doesn't she know that the pains of having her visitor are subsided when she opens the restaurant?


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