El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Una cosa mas

There is no easy way for me to say this. I hate those yellow Lance Armstrong bracelets.

El Guapo, those bracelets show solidarity in the fight against cancer.

Solidarity? You don’t need yellow bracelets to show that you are united in the fight against cancer. I don’t like cancer. You don’t like cancer. No one likes cancer. Do we need to wear a bracelet to show others that we don’t like cancer? No.

Maybe what the world needs is a bracelet for every affliction. My buddy Pedro has herpes. I feel really bad for him when his bottom lip looks like a botched collagen injection. Maybe I should wear a raspberry-textured, pink bracelet to show Pedro and everyone else that I want to put an end to this affliction. I, El Guapo, am against herpes.

But El Guapo, Lance Armstrong is a courageous man who beat the odds.

Yes, Lance Armstrong beat the odds and fought off testicular cancer. He and Sheryl Crow did everythi….Que? What’s that? Oh, he wasn’t with Sheryl Crow when he had cancer? He was married? He left his wife for Sheryl Crow? Do you think she puts his picture away?

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

21 Comments:

At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha, nice song reference!

 
At 11:04 AM, Anonymous marie said...

i gotta admit.. for a while i thought the bracelets where kinda nice.. the profits going to cancer research and all that.. but then people started making them in all sorts of colors (with messages like 'love', 'peace', 'respect', etc.) trying to benefit from the "trend" is had become. pssh!
-----
i love that song..

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Christopher Robin said...

Now am I the only one who wants to beat the crap out of the people who wear them AND smoke? That's just takes ignorant to a whole new level. So yes, there has been enough of the damn things now.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger HomeImprovementNinja said...

Admit it, Guapo. You won't wear one because you don't hate cancer as fervently as the rest of us do.

You hate cancer like a protestant hates Satan.

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger angie said...

i know lance armstrong and let me tell you something: people forget that he left his WIFE AND CHILDREN! for a more 'glamourous' lifestlye . . . hero, my ASS!

way to get the song reference in. . .

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Sandra Dee said...

Lancey-pooh also has a freaking potty mouth.

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but that spells hero to me.

 
At 2:06 PM, Anonymous jorge said...

Yeah, he's sure got some balls leaving his wife like that - oh wait...

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger Velvet said...

El Guapo - I love you more and more with each passing day. I hate those bracelets too, not only because Lance Armstrong is a dick, but because I can't believe the ease with which people jump on bandwagons. Christ peeps, be yourself! Fight the bracelet!!

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger Rev. Smokin Steve said...

I wear the yellow bracelet. I have worn it now for almost two years straight. It does not leave my arm.

I am a cancer survivor going on 5 years myself. I wear the bracelet not only to support other cancer survivors, I also wear it in honor of someone close to me that contracted cancer. I gave bracelets to her and her family, and wear mine to show solidarity with them.

Some of us wear them for a good reason, and it has nothing to do with Lance Armstrong. The money for the cost of the bracelet goes to cancer research, so I don't consider that a bad thing at all.

And by the way... I don't wear any other color bracelet. I see your point on those things. People wear bracelets for no reason anymore, and the money goes nowhere important. That I do not like.

But some of us have deeper and important reasons for wearing the yellow ones, and it has nothing to do with a guy who rides a bike.

I do agree... we all hate cancer. Cancer fucking sucks!

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger rock_ninja said...

Whether you like it or not, wearing the bracelet associates you with Lance and a trend, which is exactly what it was meant to be. Like those fucking WWJD bracelets. If you want to show your solidarity in the fight against cancer, stop eating crap and smoking. Oh, and wearing plastic bracelets, the by-products of which are probably known carcinogens.

 
At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, El Guapo, but I must correct your facts. Lance was not yet married when he had cancer. His querida mama helped him through it. He froze his sperm just in case he wanted to have hijos one day. There is still frozen sperm left over.

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said...

But I DO like the "I hate tumors" t-shirt this chick wore in her fight...

 
At 7:13 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

I love El G too, Velvet. His writing just keeps getting better and better. I want to see The G wear a teal rubber bracelet to announce he's proud of the Vespa, or a golden brown bracelet to proclaim he loves the flan, or a pale orange, Thousand Island Dressing colored bracelet proclaiming ¡No Salad Eating
On Metro!

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous CoquetteCutie said...

Oh, and I hate those yellow "support our troops" ribbon magnets on SUVs. The irony's too much. Grrrrr.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger theinebriantgrape said...

i need a deep important reason for my underwear. it has holes in it. (omg i did not intend that pun!)

i put my own picture away.

i am thinking of a song titled "oh i wish i were a marketing genius" like the oscar meyer weiner song.

tu sabes?

 
At 5:57 PM, Anonymous Margaret said...

As random as this is all say it anyway. Sense you know DC very well do you know all the nicknames for the safeways? I didn't know about that whole phenomenon until my california- bred teacher was talking about it. On the topic of the entry I'm seriously considering wearing a rubberband from my newspaper and saying it means I'm against papercuts.

 
At 6:11 PM, Blogger mysterygirl! said...

It's like those magnetic ribbons that people stick to the back of their cars, which started off saying "support our troops" and now there's one for every occasion.

I had a plan to make one that said "Support Ribbon Awareness" on it, but it hasn't materialized.

 
At 10:20 PM, Blogger Veronica said...

It needed to be said.
And who says anything better than you do, El Guapo?
Nobody.

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger RoarSavage said...

LOLOL.

 
At 6:06 AM, Anonymous susan said...

The WWJD was given new (and improved) meaning for me when my teenage daughter came home and told me that it REALLY meant, "We Want Jack Daniels."

 
At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems he has purchased an upgrade:

http://people.aol.com/people/galleries/0,19884,1180138_2,00.html

If it makes him happy...

 

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