El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Friday, June 30, 2006

cough, cough, cough, cough, cough

Dear Argentina:

cough, cough, cough, cough, cough

Sorry about that. My throat…

In case you missed the game today, it is my sincere pleasure to inform you that your afraid-to-admit-you-are-Latino-nation is going to have to wait another four years to choke yet again in the World Cup.

In case you missed the game today, several of your players were crying after losing to Germany. There must be something magical in the tears of an Argentinean because with every tear, I became happier and happier.

Today, an amigo of mine asked me why most of the Latino world has such disdain towards the Argentineans and I summed it up like this:

Do you know a guy who has slicked back hair, wears too much cologne to mask the body odor that never goes away? The guy who does the motion of gun with his fingers and makes a “clicking” sound when he sees you? The guy who truly believes that he is God’s gift to women and the world, but in reality repulses everyone unlucky enough to walk by him? The guy who wears that ridiculously colorful shirt that burns your retinas and gives you a headache? Yes? Well, that is Argentina. Argentineans truly believe they are better than everyone and for no reason.

This is why, today, I am muy feliz. It was just so beautiful to see them fall apart that it made my day.

Argentina, gracias for choking.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

Oh, I know this is old news, but it was awesome when England kicked your ass out of the Falkland islands. I wish I had been old enough to enjoy that.

Oh, something else, you are and will always be, Brazil's little bitch. Today, you are Germany's.

cough, cough, cough, cough, cough

My throat... Argentina, any idea how to stop this choking?

11 Comments:

At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL!!! Viva Alemania!!

Señor Stephens

 
At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh. Nice.

You remain a pleasure to read.

 
At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Sofitel said...

Quizas si un argentino te ofrece un mate caliente se te quita el dolor???????
Nooooooooooooo
Prefieres el dolor verdad?
Wink wink

 
At 4:32 AM, Blogger babyteks said...

Oh U R an awful (but ridiculously hilarious) man.

(I'm going to watch the Brasil - France game today. When Brasil loses, who will you support?)

 
At 2:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And now that Brazil has suffered a defeat to France, who shall you support. It's a sad day for South America indeed.

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger ThaiMex1 said...

We must remember that during and after WWII many Germans officials fled to Argentina to escape justice. You could say that Argentina was just the little brother to Germany.

Whenever we see one of those 'guard dogs' that have a German background we always quote a line from MST3K, "Hey, that's an I-was-in-Argentina-during-the-war dog"

 
At 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can only guess at how many women you have lost to Argentine men. Still hurts, huh?

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger Raincouver said...

see what I mean? Proxy wars.

 
At 4:01 AM, Blogger i said...

I can sympathise with your pain. Not everyone can be born perfect. But, hey, at least you got the land mass right. Perhaps next time around God will aim you just right (unlike Brazilean shots on French goals) and you will be born Argentinean. Good luck.

sasneha,

 
At 10:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you had a bad experience with argentinians, you are obviously a very traumatized, low self esteem central american guy that wishes (most likely) to be whiter and taller, and more handsome...wait a minute...where are you from again? Keep stereotypes for yourself, nasty prick.

 
At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you had a bad experience with argentinians, you are obviously a very traumatized, low self esteem central american guy that wishes (most likely) to be whiter and taller, and more handsome...wait a minute...where are you from again? Keep stereotypes for yourself, nasty prick.

 

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