cough, cough, cough, cough, cough
Sorry about that. My throat…
In case you missed the game today, it is my sincere pleasure to inform you that your afraid-to-admit-you-are-Latino-nation is going to have to wait another four years to choke yet again in the World Cup.
In case you missed the game today, several of your players were crying after losing to Germany. There must be something magical in the tears of an Argentinean because with every tear, I became happier and happier.
Today, an amigo of mine asked me why most of the Latino world has such disdain towards the Argentineans and I summed it up like this:
Do you know a guy who has slicked back hair, wears too much cologne to mask the body odor that never goes away? The guy who does the motion of gun with his fingers and makes a “clicking” sound when he sees you? The guy who truly believes that he is God’s gift to women and the world, but in reality repulses everyone unlucky enough to walk by him? The guy who wears that ridiculously colorful shirt that burns your retinas and gives you a headache? Yes? Well, that is Argentina. Argentineans truly believe they are better than everyone and for no reason.
This is why, today, I am muy feliz. It was just so beautiful to see them fall apart that it made my day.
Argentina, gracias for choking.
Oh, I know this is old news, but it was awesome when England kicked your ass out of the Falkland islands. I wish I had been old enough to enjoy that.
Oh, something else, you are and will always be, Brazil's little bitch. Today, you are Germany's.
My throat... Argentina, any idea how to stop this choking?