What does MBD mean?
You were supposed to be here about two hours ago.
“Bueno, Latino time. You know how it is.”
Miguel, couldn’t you have called? I don’t mean to be a mujer about this, but I was waiting around for you.
“You’re right, I’m late coming here, but technically I came to your building on time. Oh, tonight is on me.”
Oh really? Mr. Money bags all of a sudden? Did you pull a double or did your sister’s boyfriend pass out on her couch again?
“Two things El Guapo: 1. You’re an idiota; 2. My sister’s boyfriend put a chain on his wallet. I can’t pull that trick anymore.”
Then how are you going to pay for tonight?
“I got here on time, bueno, I was late, but only by 15 minutes. The moment I walk up to the building some white old man throws his keys at me. At first I was going to throw them right back at his face, but then he said:
“Park it in the front row. I don’t want to have to look for it later.”
“Then, he hands me a $10. I started to tell him that I wasn’t the building valet, but he told me that his whole family was coming behind him and to park their cars next to his. So, I parked the guy’s car thinking that he was just a crazy old gringo. Ten dollars is ten dollars.”
You’re wearing black pants and a white polo shirt. I think when they have fiestas the valet guys wear that. They thought you were a valet parker.
“El Guapo, you’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life. Wow. Nada is over your head…”
Fine, so you made $10. Then what?
“Well, it turns out that the valet service never came today, so every time I came back to come upstairs there was another gringo ready to give me their keys. I parked 15 cars.”
Are you walking around with 15 sets of keys?
“El Guapo! Jesus Christo in heaven! Shut up! Let me tell you the damn story. I don’t have the fancy blog to tell stories. Can you do that, El Guapo?”
Lo siento. Go ahead.
“Ok. Anyway, I realize that I have 15 keys in my pocket. I mean, they don’t use wires or a screwdriver to turn on their car over here, so I needed to figure out what to do with these keys. I was starting to look around to see what bush I was going to put them in, but then I realize that you’re the only Guatemalan in the building and that they’d blame you. So, I walked around your building and found the party.”
You walked around the whole building?
“Si. I was looking for party noises, but I found out that white people have what they call “dinner parties” that don’t make noise. El Guapo, white people don’t even dance at these parties. I don’t understand… Anyway, I knock on this door where I heard music and this 45 year old white woman named Delores answered the door.”
How do you know her name?
“We got to talking and she invited me in. Anyway, I left 45 minutes later when she told me where the party was. When I got to the party the man was so thrilled that I actually brought up the keys that he gave me $50 and asked if I could do his next party.”
Whoa, you were in there for 45 minutes?
“Yeah, but these people have “dinner parties” all the time and I’ll be parking their cars. My cell phone was shut off, so I gave them yours. Call my house when he calls you. Oh, you have to answer the phone MBD Valet Services.”
MBD? What does that mean?
“Miguel’s Big Di..”
Ok, got it. Eres un idiota Un grande idiota.
“Yeah, an idiota with $200 for drinks. Let’s go neighbor.”
“Oh si. I’ll be back. I have a friend in this building who will definitely answer my calls.”
Miguel, I hate you. I hate you so much. Let's go. I want my free drinks.