El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Friday

“Here. Gracias.”

What is this?

“A check. For the money you lent me.”

You’re giving me a check?

“Si. For the money you lent me.”

A check. You’re giving me a check. For the money I lent you. Miguel, I lent you $15. Can’t you give me cash?

“El Guapo! Stop being such a drama queen! It’s the same damn thing coño!”

I am going to have to walk to the bank and get charged for seeing a teller because you couldn’t give me cash.

“Just deposit the damn thing at the ATM so you don’t have to pay a fee. Stop being simple.”

I don’t like doing that. They only credit your account the next day. Sometimes in two days. It’s annoying. I don’t like that.

“El Guapo, do not get annoyed with me because of your anal retentive nature! You lent me money and I’m paying you back. I do not wish to owe mi amigo money. Money ruins relationships.”

Ok... Fine! Gracias! Gracias for paying me back. Gracias for paying me back with a check. I’ll deposit it tomorrow.

“De nada. Wait, what?”

I said, gracias! I’m not even being sarcastic. En serio, gracias for paying me back. I had forgotten all about it.

“You’re going to deposit it tomorrow?”

Si.

“No, don’t deposit it tomorrow. Don’t deposit it before Friday. Actually, only on Friday afternoon just to be safe. Gracias hermano. I will see you later.”

Miguel pats me on the shoulder and walks out eating a banana yogurt. My last one...

Friday… For fifteen dollars. Why not?

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

PS: Thank you to my friend who helped me determine the difference between lent and leant. I was right. You were wrong. Guatemala in the house!

20 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Anonymous girl and dog said...

Is that a Latino thing? He sounds just like some clients my parents have. They'll "pay" with a check for, say, $500 but they'll ask for the check not to be deposited and they'll bring my parents $25 in cash every week until they cover the check. Next thing you know, my parents will be paid in chickens...

 
At 5:16 AM, Blogger P1P said...

Next time he asks for a loan of some cash give him a cheque "It’s the same damn thing coño!".

 
At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Alina said...

To girl and dog's comment:

No burra!; it is not a "Latino" thing. Those particular latinos are just being coños. Actually, your parents are the burros for allowing that...

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Lee said...

I would give me little pinky to know how to type that "n" with the tilda sign over it.

 
At 11:58 AM, Anonymous aaliyah said...

lee -

hold down ALT button and press 0241 when you let go of the ALT button you will have - ñ!

 
At 1:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ñ. holy shit! learn something new every day....

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Mujer Morena said...

Ghetto.

 
At 5:58 PM, Anonymous girl and dog said...

To alina's (ignorant) comment -

Don't judge people (my parents or others) until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Burra.

El guapo - Read your post again. Me hiciste reir. Again. :) Thanks!

 
At 6:16 PM, Anonymous Alina said...

To girl and dog's reply:

O sea, me imagino que no eres latina por el comentario que hiciste..

FYI, your comment is not funny or witty; it is offensive.

 
At 1:12 AM, Blogger Avloomat said...

amigo!

can you come to my country and teach my fellow country men some humor?

they a bit too stiff. too much unnecessary viagra...

avloomat

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger Dolly Parton said...

What your friend said was true. Money lending based on a hand shake only does destroy friendships. I lost a friend I had for 6 years because of money that her husband lent me.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Doñ't leñd moñey to frieñds.

I doñ't meañ that really, I just wañted to try out that cool "ñ" thiñg. You doñ't get it on Scottish keyboards

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger UberSchatz said...

I think if he would have had them, he would have fallen on his arse.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Lee said...

OK El Guapo, not only am I a terrible liar because I will not in fact, give a pinky, but I am also retarded because I cannot make the cool "n" with the squiggle with your directions or aaliyah's directions, while obviously anonymous could. What is wrong with me El Guapo? I can only make it in MS Word with the insert symbol. I am unworthy.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

The easist way is to copy añd paste oñe that someoñe else has already writteñ

 
At 7:15 AM, Blogger emeralda said...

god, your comments make me laugh too! what a cool bunch of comments for a cool funny post!@ hahahahaha. it's great when people take themselves seriously, because it is great. i mean, i thought about it today in the bus and i couldn't decide whether or not i should take myself serious but then i realized that for both sides there is a good argument and hey, without alcohol or marihuana or whatever floats your boat i can't think onesided.
hey, lee, maybe it's your computer...with mac it doesn't work for me either...it's a fucking pc thing. but we have a secret code too you just have to find it!
love you guapo and i know exactly (really, i swear!) why you still hang with miguel.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger holllyberrry said...

i can relate: i lent my friend $20 to donate for a charity and after a month i reminded her. i hated reminding her but it was a poor time for me. anyway, she said, oh yeah. later. later came (2 wks later) and i reminded her again--on a pay day no less. she owed money to someone else and the other person gave her more than enough change to pay me back most of what she owed me. so i nudged her. she said, no, she likes to keep cash on her so she could write me a check. later. i began to feel like i was a nuisance for wanting my $20 back. finally, 2 months after she borrowed it, i got a check for half of it. and was told, please wait till pay day to cash! crazy!

 
At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

El Guapo - You are a true friend. You gave $15 to Miguel and then forgot about it.

Then, you forgave him for paying you with a check and asking you to hold the check until Friday.

You are a true friend.

 
At 4:33 PM, Anonymous marie said...

Lee:

Try this one:

Alt + 164 = ñ

 
At 7:43 PM, Anonymous Heights of Columbia said...

You might want to hold that fifteen bucks until Monday, El G. The Check 21 (as in we're finally joining the 21st century) means that checks can now clear in hours.

Oh the horror!

 

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