As veces a man is never too old to learn a lesson. Although I am Guatemalan and am pretty much knowledgeable with all things in the world, I learned two things today.
1. When your woman has spent hours cooking for a party and asks your opinion on how something (completed) tastes, remember to never say, “I think it needs more salt.”
This is especially the case if your mujer is of Latina descent. I have learned, albeit slowly, that mi opinion is not really of importance. Women already know the answer and simply would like to have affirmation of what they know is right.
The same thing goes for the question, “What do you think of this outfit?” This one is tricky. Never pause, not even for a half a second when answering this. If you do, they will believe you to be lying. You MUST answer this question immediately or, well, or else. If you for some reason know of and are crazy enough to have an alternate combination of the outfit then say it immediately. Otherwise, just say she looks beautiful and smile.
2. Never give an excuse for why you shouldn’t make love.
“El Guapo, not now. I have to go get my hair done. When I get back.”
But then your hair will be all done and it will get messed up.
“Good point. You’re out of luck.”
Please mentally kick me like an Argentinean for this one. I know, yo lo se… I am right now about to lose my Guatemalan card for this one. Dios…