$2.43

(On Hold for 13 minutes)

Thank you for calling Comcast. How may I help you?

Yes. Hello. I have a question on my bill. I’m being charged an Admin Fee of $2.43 for Comcast High Speed Internet Service.

Let me take a look. Yes. Everyone is charged that fee.

But, I don’t have Comcast Internet Service.

Um… That’s because it’s for like the Public channels.

Public channels? Public channels are free. No? If I don’t have cable, I don’t have to pay anyone. Why do you want me to pay this now?

Um… It’s because now you have cable.

May I please speak with someone else?

(On hold for 11 minutes more)

How can I help you sir? That Administrative fee is a misprint under your bill. It happened on all the bills. It shouldn’t be under Internet.

I don’t get it. Administration fee for what? Are you typing letters for me?

Anytime you call in to add or change service there is a fee involved. You called in for the Sports package and you’re being charged a fee.

Oh. Si. I remember. You mean when I was calling about your being 7 hours late for an installation? Si. I remember. When I decided that it would be a good idea to add the sports package? You are charging me a fee for this?

Yes.

You’re charging me for calling in to complain about your being seven hours late and then telling you that I even want to give you more money? I called to say, “I want to give you more money,” and then you say, “Thank you, but for wanting to give Comcast more money, I’m going to charge you $2.43 for that honor.” Is this right? Can you hold for a second?

I put my phone down and went outside to get some fresh air. I thought about being an hombre about standing for his principles, but then I realized that it’s fucking $2.43. My life was pretty great if that was my biggest problem today.

I came back inside and did what any of you would do.

I left that cabron on hold while I enjoyed what $2.43 gets me.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo