Lo siento: An apology to Senator McCain

“El Guapo, I like you man. You make me laugh with your stupid stories. Stick with what you know tho. Talk about flan, dancing, hookers and smoking weed. Leave the politics to those who know better. U made yourself look like an ass with your McCain post.”

“John McCain was an American POW and an American hero. He can call anyone he wants a varmint. Argentine wannabe.”

“EG why don’t you just come out and say that you’re a gay liberal Dem. Stop making fun of all the Republicans. You suck.”

And so went a couple of e-mails that I received about my last post. I didn’t realize how many McCain supporters and Republicans graced my little corner of the Internet. I’m honored that you read me and I am truly sorry that I made Senator McCain look like a racist.

I totally didn’t read the entire article. I totally didn’t get the mocking reference. I totally made an Argentine of myself. Lo siento. I’ll try to stay away from politics.

I also would like to apologize to John McCain. I’m sorry. To make it up to you, Senator McCain, I’m going to write about you in this post. In a positive light. Luckily, I’m the greatest Guatemalan blogger based in Washington DC and will make things right. Here are the top five things that you didn’t know about John McCain:

1. Much like the Republican mascot, John McCain is hung like an elephant. It’s true. I had an amigo who saw it in the Senate gym. He had to swing it over his shoulder so that he wouldn’t get rug burn.
2. England didn’t go to war with Argentina over the Falkland Islands. They just sent John McCain, who single-handedly kicked their lamb loving culos.
3. John McCain didn’t need to wear bullet proof vests when he was in the Vietnam War. His chest hair repels bullets.
4. John McCain is perfect. He shits flan.
5. Ronald Reagan always remembered who John McCain was.

Again, I’m sorry for calling John McCain a racist. I’m even going as far as giving him an honorary Latino card through the month of July.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo