El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Furniture Store Pic: Papeles de Gringos

I wanted to show you a picture of a furniture store by mi casa:

"Credito Sin Papeles de Gringos" is roughly translated into : Credit without the white man's papers.

I love this. The white man gringos have been making it difficult for us to get credit for too long and my neighborhood empresarios have taken away the gringo paperwork. It's about time someone other than Sears gave us credito.

Please take a look at the objects in the picture. Creo I believe that there is a picture of two white people at the beach. Yes, we Latinos like to have as many pictures of white people at the beach as possible. It is common knowledge. There is a Latino version of the Holy Mary. In mi casa Jesus has blonde hair with blue eyes, so I like that some people out there believe the Christ family was Latino. If they were, they were most likely Guatemalan. Si, Jesus was Guatemalan. Miguel says Jesus was black, but I personally believe that Jesus wouldn't like Miguel very much:

Ok, that sign was a fake from www.churchsigngenerator.com

But, this sign is real:

I took it today off of 14th St. by the U St. corridor. Can anyone love a prostitute? Luckily, this question was answered for me when I was eating sopa de mariscos (seafood soup) for breakfast at a local food place.

There is a place where I eat breakfast every Saturday and Sunday morning called "El Amigo". It is a dive Salvadorean restaurant that has great food. You know, one of those places that only accepts cash. I sat at the counter next to some women. I said good morning to the woman when I realized she had a stubble.

Now, unfortunately some of the Latin women (not Guatemalans as we are perfect) have problems with facial hair. This woman however, was no woman. I was about to eat breakfast next to one of my neighborhood transvestites. Que dia glorioso, Oh Glorious day!

I wasn't aware that the transvestites came out during the day, but here they were in all of their unshaven belleza, beauty. They even put on makeup OVER their stubble.

My sopa de mariscos was good and El Guapo had a smile on his face the entire time. I do not know how often I will have the opportunity to eat breakfast next to a transvestite, so I cherished the moment. The transvestite said something to me that was so profound that I will carry it in mi cabeza, head for the rest of my life:

"Can you give me the salt?"

Yes, madam transvestite, I can.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

Oh, si, I believe you can love a prostitute.


At 11:14 PM, Anonymous IH8mexicans said...

Does that mean you pick up the hookers you Mexican?

At 12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

kill the translations dude. they're wrecking your flow. seriously. let the chick who complained a few posts back open up an online dictionary.

but i love your sh*t. funny as hell most of the time, and beautiful understated writing when you want to. keep truckin.

At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

p.s. to be clear, that advice is coming from someone who's never taken a day of spanish in his life. unless you count Sesame Street.

At 3:54 AM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

The translations are hard for me sometimes because I forget the words...

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

At 8:40 AM, Blogger greymaulkin said...

I agree. Just write the way you write, man, don't worry about translations. There are tons of tools on the internet for anyone who doesn't understand the Spanish.

At 11:58 AM, Blogger Velvet said...

Si mi amor. I must agree with the others. Well not the "ih8mexicans" dude (whose ass I will kick for disprespecting mi amor El Guapo, but the others.

Most of what you say in Espanol is common enough that people should know. It's like "menage a trois." No one has to translate that to "threesome." So screw the peeps who can't figure out what it says. And if they have to look it up, then consider yourself El Professor.

Adios mi amor!

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Thicky said...

maybe that is just the way he writes and not something he does for you non-latino speaking people (less we forget this is his blog!). Leave it the way it is man, that is part of your humor. Just like gringos (white folks) to try and make cambios sin pensar (changes without thinking)! Please tell me, esto no te arrecho (did this not piss you off)?!

pupusa!pupusa! (stuffed tortillas! stuffed tortillas!)

pendejos <- Google that!

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous biliousness.blogspot.com said...

What of the white women's papers?
When you have run out and forgot your pipe, they come in handy they do.

At 5:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...because I forget the words." Heh. Right.

-Mr. Anonymous

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Sarah Jayne said...

El Guapo, you are my favourite! Keep on writing - you bring a smile to my face on a daily basis!

Come visit Canada and I will take you on a tour - our bartenders are a little more nice and won't ignore serving you.


At 11:30 PM, Blogger Siryn said...

Me gusta la latin flava. Siga con translations.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Andraste said...

Personally, I find the translations funny. I think they add something to the flow, rather than taking anything away or interrupting.

I'm loving this blog. You're my new favorite, El Guapo!

At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let the faux broken English fool you; El Guapo is probably a fat Jewish guy.

At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Miguel said...

Es verdad. Guapo esta Judio en este articulo.

Vaya con Dios,


At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

UAUU!!!! Mi novio lives literally around the corner from that store. It is el mejor de todo el mundo. I love the black leather couch in the window with about an inch of dust covering it. Que bueno!


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