My new winter coat, bueno, my new borrowed winter coat is made of black leather. It has the embroidered face of a forward facing eagle with its talons lifted upward in an “attack mode.” The eagle takes up the entire back of my coat.
If you walk behind me, there is a pretty big chance that you will wet your pants in fear of my attacking eagle. My embroidered, attacking eagle.
“It keeps you warm, no? Stop with the ugly face.”
Miguel, why couldn’t I borrow your other jacket that you never wear?
“Because. This one is much better. You look much cooler in this one. Muuuuuy guapo.”
I’m just happy that you’re enjoying this moment. Kick me when I’m down. What a great amigo you are.
“El Guapo, en serio, that jacket is great. I see all the chicas staring at you.”
Whatever. Did you vote?
“Claro. Did you think that I wasn’t going to vote?”
I never know with you.
“Did you think that I voted for one of your reasons? Claro que no. I voted so that I wouldn’t have to hear you complain and lecture me.”
Well, at least you voted. Way to do your civic duty. Did you vote for Fenty?
“No way. I hate that guy.”
REALLY? Por que? I didn’t even know you had a real opinion.
“Primero, the things you don’t know about me could fill Atitlan. Segundo, and please don’t think this is because of you, but I hate looking at that guy’s hat. I had a mayor who wore a bow tie every single day now I have to have one who thinks he is on a safari? He looks like a cancer patient with that hat and overcoat. Indiana Jones dying of cancer. No. He will not get my vote.”
You didn’t vote for someone because he wears a hat. Interesante.
“Si, claro. He is mi mayor. If he looks like un grande douchebag, then citizens of DC looks like douchebags. It was my duty as an Americano and a DC resident. I am very much anti-douchebag.”
So who did you vote for?
“I voted for the eagle on the back of your jacket. I think he would make a fine mayor.”
Mucho Amor,
El Guapo
PS: Gracias, really, muchas gracias to all the comments and personal e-mails I received regarding my last post. I am truly at a loss for words, if you can believe this, when it comes to how much I appreciate your kind words and generous offers. Mis amigos, mucho amor to you all. You are the best.
6 Comments:
aah El Guapo *hugs*
Ur jacket's Bitching!!!
I have actually seen guys wearing those :)
We love you El Guapo! My friends and I really did eat flan and wish you the best.
Fly like an eagle, brother!
:) Liz
but if we were real friends we'd offer to send you money to help replace some of your stuff. Maybe you should set up a paypal account, i'd give ya $10! not much, but if everyone gave you just $5...! Maybe you should have miguel act as sally struthers...
{{{{{{{{El Guapo}}}}}}}}
I go away and when I come back I find that someone has been cruel and abusive to you. To have eaten your flan, that, that was the final straw!!!
I am so very sorry to learn of your tragedy. Please let me know if there is anyway at all in which I can help my friend.
mi amor,
we need to talk about the fundraising thing soon.
the holidays are upon us...
besos,
Namaste
Dinner for two--all the courses, all the trimmings, on me, at my place. No kidding. Name the date and time and you are in the book!
Best, The Gal
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