Political Commentary

As you know, I am a Guatemalan man. I have a mustache. It is glorioso. Touching it is the equivalent of dipping your fingers in holy water. My point in all of this? I am not one for political commentary. Not always. As veces.

I did not make one peep when Venezuela began causing problems with my paisano at the United Nations. If you didn't hear, Guatemala was on its way to being a member of the UN Security Council when Venezuela had to get upset about a comment made in the men's restroom at the United Nations.

Yes, sources very close to my Guatemalan entourage may have seen the senior "member" of the Venezuelan delegation in the restroom and giggled. You see, this senior member isn't very intimidating. So, he may have made a couple of comments to the Chinese and Japanese delegation, who found it hilarious by the way, and it spread around the building.

The Chinese started to make comments about how Venezuela would never be on the Security Council because you had to have some kind of an intimidation factor to be efficient. Venezuela got all upset because the temperature in the restroom was "supposedly" colder than usual and then started taking off their red ties and slapping people.

Someone from Jamaica got slapped by a red tie and all hell broke loose. They started saying they had seen this same member in his red speedo back in 1983 during the sweltering heat of the Jamaican summer and to not use that as an excuse etc. The Guatemalans, who had confiscated several red ties and were wearing them wrapped around their heads, couldn't contain their laughter anymore. Then someone brought up the domino match and the fighting once again commenced.

Why am I talking about this? Because I was on the Internet and saw the following headline:

"Bush: No pullout until mission complete."

Yes, I know. I learned that in the 8th grade.

And this, mis amigos, is why I don't do political commentary.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo