Best bar conversation ever
“This is seriously the greatest conversation I’ve ever had in mi vida.”
Every once in a while I find myself in a situation that makes me want to give thanks to my creator. It seems like I have been doing this more and more every day, but I guess that just means that life, bueno, life is good. This weekend, Miguel and I found ourselves speaking to a woman, who oddly enough, didn’t want either of us, not in that way anyway.
You see, I have found myself being invited to more and more social activities than in the recent past. Much of this I attribute to mi Linda, but I also attribute it to my mustache, which is growing more and more lustrous with each passing day.
This weekend Miguel and I were at a birthday celebration and were making useless chit chat with a fellow female partygoer.
“Yeah, so like, I don’t know, she’s nice and all, but we just started dating, so I’m going to see where this goes.”
Miguel pushed back from the bar and gave our new friend all of his attention. Over the next 20 or so minutes Miguel was asking this woman an assortment of questions he had for some reason been holding in for over 25 years:
Our new amiga was loving the attention she was getting from us and loving Miguel’s questions even more. She may have taken some artistic liberty with her memories, but she described her first experience with a woman with so much detail and hand gestures that it left these two Latinos without words.
“…I’m talking a full body orgasm. My hair was tingling.”
“And a man can not do this for you? Have you been with a Latino? Really? Your hair was tingling? Mi amiga, I have been in many bar conversations en mi vida and this, right here, is the best.”
I had to agree with mi amigo, but was frankly a bit taken aback by the detail being brought forth by nuestra amiga. I mean, she had the power to twist adjectives in a such a way that we felt we were there with her for her first time and let me tell you, it was beautiful.
“Can you look around this room and tell me who is a lesbian? Is that girl a lesbian?”
“Miguel, just because she has short hair doesn’t mean that she’s a lesbian. I can’t always tell by looking at someone. I kind of just came out.”
“Do you know what you need??? You need a wing man! Please! Let me be your wing man. I was this one’s wing man until he became “monogamous.” Do you know what that means? It means he is only with one woman. Are you like that? Please don’t be like that.”
Miguel spent the rest of the evening asking his new amiga many questions that many would have found offensive, but I promise you that they were asked with the curiosity of a child. If anything, Miguel came away with such a wealth of knowledge that he went to bed with a smile on his face. Then again, so did I. It truly was an amazing conversation. I can only hope to have many more.