Best conversation Part 2
I’ve been asked for the actual details of the conversation Miguel and I had with our new amiga last weekend. I apologize for not writing them in the last post, but I’m of the belief that posts shouldn’t be longer than one page long. I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that you all suffer from the horrible Guatemalan ADD that has plagued me for years. So, here are the questions, comments and some responses that were made last weekend. Por favor, I apologize for mi amigo and know, that Miguelito meant no harm by his questions. He was like a kid in a lesbian candy store and couldn’t help himself. Oh, si, I guess I should say that these are the responses of one lesbian and in no way shape or form do we believe that her responses speak for the entire lesbian community. We would have to meet a Guatemalan lesbian for that to be the case.
“I was once in a bar and I saw many lesbians dancing. Why can’t lesbians dance?”
“I’m a great dancer. I don’t know where you where.” (He was at Wonderland)
“So, are you the man or the woman in a relationship?”
“That’s not how it works. It’s not like that at all.”
“Oh, so you go and get your nails done together? Get waxed together and things like that?”
“No. I don’t get my nails done. But I’ll totally go shopping together.”
I guess that makes sense. You get to double your wardrobe.
“El Guapo, can you please stay out of this conversation? Your being here is kind of ruining things for me. Why don’t you go over there and play with your mustache?”
“Explain the combat boots to me. The buzz hair cuts. Por favor, why?”
“I don’t know. I don’t get that either. I like my women to look sporty, but combat boots aren’t sporty. They’re militant.”
“Do you have combat boots?”
“Well, yeah, but I just wear them when I want to look cute.”
“You should take what I’m about to tell you and spread it around the lesbian world: Combat boots are never cute. Never. Your life will be so much better if you just follow that rule.”
“Miguel, you’re going to change my life.”
“Hermana, you have no idea.”
She really doesn’t. I apologize in advance to the lesbian community of Washington DC for the actions that mi amigo will most likely do to better “understand” your world.
“So, do you ever miss a man and bring one into your bed with your girlfriend?”
“Nice try Miguel.”
En serio, mi amigo. Nice try…