El Guapo in DC

I am El Guapo. The most Guapo man in all of DC. Mucho Amor

Monday, December 04, 2006

Remembering the Story

Oh Navidad season. Why must you torment me so?

Why must a gringo wearing a Tag Heuer watch always be around me when I’m trying to shop for mi Linda?

Why are some American women nicknamed “Pussy?”

Why must there always be someone wearing a Santa Claus hat on the metro?

Why must I have that desire to punch him?

Why must diamonds be a girl’s best friend?

What exactly is butterscotch?

Why is flan never on sale?

These are some of the questions that I have been asking myself as I walk through the streets of DC trying to find answers.

Then, I found it. I found my answer:

What is this you ask?

Bueno, this is a midget, of sorts, blowing glass with the help of that white dog/dragon from The Never Ending Story.

There I was, a beautiful Guatemalan, walking down the streets of greatest city in the world when the brand new Macy’s window decorators made me see what it was that I was forgetting.

Si, I had forgotten all about the magical Christmas story of the midget blowing glass with the help of the white dragon. Don’t you remember this story?

It’s the story about how the white dragon flies over the manger where Jesus Christ himself was about to be born, but realized that he didn’t have a gift to give the savior. So, he flies to the moon and tries to enlist the help of a dyslexic midget to make a gift for little baby Jesus. The midget doesn’t want to help at first until the white dragon blows a magic fairy dust into her face which makes her cooperative. Do you not remember this wonderful story from the Bible?

Macy's did. Macy's is always there to make us really remember what Christmas is all about: Flying dog dragons.

Gracias Macy’s. Gracias.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo


At 1:25 AM, Blogger E :) said...

What would we do without Macy's? Thank you also for reminding us of this story, El Guapo ;)

At 6:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i weep with wonder. Happy Christmas.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Skye said...

Who else, but Macy's, would remind us of the true meaning of Christmas? They host the big parade that starts off the season afterall, no?

flying dog dragons...lol

At 7:48 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

I hear another store in the big city has chosen to remind us of the generosity of Andy Warhol, who made it possible to have the word 'holiday'.

At 8:11 AM, Blogger Palestinian Princess said...

Christmas time always makes me weepy, specially that lovely story of the Nativity with the drangons, absolutely lovely!

At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahaha your story made me laugh my ass off. Don't stress about what to get your amor...she will love it no matter what.

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Ar-Jew-Tino said...


At 12:37 PM, Anonymous abbi said...

There is a Macy's in the District? Where?

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Kim Ayres said...

You are so fortunate to have a Macy's to teach and remind you of the true meaning of Christmas. It makes us feel like such a backward country here in Scotland that we don't have such a thing

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Walker said...

So the old man in the moon is a midget?
Thats what happens when you eat to much cheese.
Leave it to Macy's and other department stores to remember the stories they have been trying to gorget for two centuries lol

The Joy is in the giving, so recieving is only giving someone else joy.
This is looking better all the time.

Oh what the hay, I love Christmas because it makes me feel good.

Have a nice day.

At 9:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flying dog dragons from the Neverending Story? Heck, I thought you had located the feared chupacabra--fire-breathing no less. While you're doing your Christmas shopping, dude, see if you can pick up a new wallet for Miguel. That wallet of his is an embarassment to men everywhere. Feliz Navidad!

At 4:21 AM, Blogger P1P said...

What does the bible have to do with xmas? Give me crazy glassblowing midget and weird thing from shitty film anyday

At 12:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are NO girls in Texas nicknamed "Pussy." that's just weird.

At 11:33 AM, Anonymous avloomat said...


merry christmas mi amigo....

At 9:17 PM, Anonymous Emily said...

I honestly thought the lamb/dog/dragon was fellating a glowing dildo.

At 3:16 PM, Blogger valiantqueen said...

This made me laugh out loud. Seriously.


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