El Guapo advice

The website First Date DC asked me to answer a question from one of their readers. Take a look:

regular girl writes,
i’m a regular mid-twenties dating girl (but no girly-girl to be sure). my question: what is the deal with waxing? recently i’ve been getting the impression from girlfriends that it is expected nowadays. have never gotten any complaints from boys. i tend to go au natural.. do guys really expect a good bikini wax (and do girls really willingly shell out the cash and pain that goes along with it), is a shave ok (possibly prickly from time to time), or does anyone really mind if you do only a trim every once in a while? this is so embarrassing to write — but its better than bringing it up in person. i know things are relative but i’m just looking for the norm i suppose…
thanks!

Prickly? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. A cactus is prickly. Nothing about a woman should ever be prickly. I just wanted to get that out of the way first.

This is a touchy subject. Different men have different preferences. You can have a lot, have some, and have none. The most important thing for me is that you commit to one. You MUST commit. If you decide to have a lightning bolt down there, fine, just don’t let the prickly rain appear around it. If you’re going to be artistic, I shouldn’t have to guess what is going on down there. This area of your body is no place to show that you’re a fan of abstract art.

The “au naturel” is something that scares me a little bit. I once saw a woman who had this style. It looked as if spiders were trying to escape through her underwear. I don’t wish to discuss this any further. The memories are too much.

Remember, when a man sees your “place” they should hear:

Hello
How are you?
It’s ok. Don’t be scared.
Hang out for a bit. Come closer.
Let’s get to know one another. See? Nice, isn’t it?

We tend to get disoriented if “too much” is going on down there.

Now, you didn’t mention this in your letter, but I’ll bring it up anyway. The Brazilians are geniuses. Remember that when you ask yourself the question of whether you should have hair in the back or not. There should never be anything back there. This, I promise you, is universal. Even if you don’t plan on doing anything back there it should still be bare. It’s like the guest soap in your home. You never use it, but you want it to look nice.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

PS: First Date DC is a well-written site that offers interesting and funny advice (from a male and female perspective) regarding, bueno, a lot of topics.