E-Vites, Miguel and Midgets

“El Guapo, you are really an insensitive prick sometimes!”

I was just telling you something that Miguel told me.

“Yes, but you really thought it was funny!”

Come on mi Linda. You know it is a great idea.

“I am NOT hiring a midget to come to my party!”

Ok, so Miguel gets his very first E-Vite to mi Linda’s holiday fiesta. He is confused.

“Why do people write little messages? Why don’t they just click on “yes” or “no”?”

I don’t know. Gringos like to write witty messages.

“El Guapo, these aren’t witty messages. These messages make me want to throw crackers at the back of their heads. Look at this girl. Her message does nothing but to let the world know that she is a lawyer. How many people like this are going to be at this fiesta?”

Probably many.

“So, I should write something witty? Ok. I will write something witty.”

My midget friend and I will be there.

That is what you wrote?

“Si. I’m going to hire a midget and bring her as my date.”

He disappears into my refrigerator to find the yogurt that I’ve hidden. Unsuccessfully.

You’re going to hire a midget?

“Si.”

You can just hire a midget like that?

“Ay… El Guapo, you can hire just about anything.”

Is the midget going to do tricks?

“No. Not all midgets can do tricks El Guapo. (shakes his head in disgust) I’m just going to have her walk around the party and mingle.”

You’re going to hire a midget to just walk around and mingle at mi Linda’s party?

“Si. Just walk around and mingle. Maybe I'll have her follow the girl who wants everyone to know she's a lawyer.”

What if she can't reach things that are on the table?

"El Guapo, you are really an insensitive prick sometimes."

Yes, I am definitely going to get in trouble for this one.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo